I am sorry for your troubles. It is so hard to feel "on the outside" in your own house. Hopefully this will make you smile.
My parents were verbally combative with each other. When I was an adult (they were married 51 years) I asked her how she coped? She said cleaning always helped calm her down. Cleaning, I asked? Yes, she said. The inside of the toilet bowl with my Dad's toothbrush. I laughed so hard, I cried.
