Just thought I'd update as to what happened since you were all so helpful in getting me past my pre-Thanksgiving anxiety. I talked to difficult child and he had talked to his therapist the week before everyone arrived, and agreed that he could try to make an appearance at dinner, say "hi" to everyone, and then play it by ear. He even had arranged with a friend to escape to his house overnight if things got weird at our house. I asked him what he would do if his sister or anyone said something he didn't like, and he said it wouldn't be an issue since he didn't plan to eat dinner with us.
My oldest son and his wife arrived a couple of days before Thanksgiving, and difficult child talked to them some. He also helped me with a lot of cleaning, which was surprising since he's usually not that helpful. On the day itself, we had the whole family along with the other guests (17 people in all). difficult child came out, said Hello, got his food, and went to his room to eat. This is pretty much normal everyday behavior for him, and there were so many people that it didn't really seem odd. The only conflict we had was when my oldest son told my daughter to stop eating so many deviled eggs and she started crying! I guess I wasn't the only one who was anxious.
Well, here's hoping that we all have some unexpected moments of peace and harmony through the holiday season. I've decided to stop worrying so much and try to enjoy myself. My family's not the one you see on the Hallmark commercials, but I'm OK with that (usually).
