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Getting ridiculous!!
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 161788"><p>BBK, if I may....</p><p></p><p>When they are in that frame of mind, there is no rationalizing with them. I've done the 'how much better you have it than...' thing and there is no way in Hades that Wynter would ever admit to anything at that time. Simply because it was not an argument that was working in her favor. She would come back with something along the lines of, "So. They're used to not having as much." I kid you not. For a long time I worried she didn't have any empathy. It's what really led me to get her started in therapy. Thing is, she does have empathy. Tons. She's just not going to admit it at times like that.</p><p></p><p>As far as the 2 choices and a friend going... You gave her the choices and she could take them or leave them. If she didn't want to go if her friend didn't go, then that's her choice. And that's exactly how I would have left it with her. I wouldn't ask her what she wants to do then. I would simply say ok and go on about my day. She wants you to entertain her but only on her terms. I would not engage her. I would simply tell her those were her choices, end of discussion.</p><p></p><p>I don't think there is a parent at there who is able and/or willing to entertain their child all day long every day. Not only that, children need to learn to entertain themselves, build on their imagination, etc.</p><p></p><p>My daughter was the same in wanting me to watch everything she did. It was all the time. I couldn't even enjoy time with friends because she was always yelling, "Mommy, watch!" I finally told her that I was not going to watch everything she did. If she had something special to show me, then I would. It took some time, but we got there.</p><p></p><p>When she's bored, you could come up with chores for her to do. More than likely, if Tink is anything like Wynter and she sounds like she is, it will just end in a meltdown, rage, drama, drama, drama. And nothing I ever came up with - or even still today come up with - was something she wanted to do. So, she'll come to me and say she's bored and if I offer suggestions, they're not any good, but she still wants me to fix it. Now, instead I simply say, "I'm sorry." If they get bored enough, they will find something to do.</p><p></p><p>Wynter came to me last night saying she was hungry and there was nothing in the house that would fill her up. Honest to God, the fridge and freezer are packed. We can not get anything else in without taking something out. Same with the pantry cupboards. I even have one box of cereal sitting on the counter because the cereal pantry is full. Silly me fell into the trap of offering things and, of course, they weren't any good. Frustrated, I finally told her that if she got hungry enough she would find something. I was frustrated, by the way, for getting s-ucked into it yet again. I do slip occasionally. And she stood there and glared at me for probably 3 full minutes. I wouldn't look at her. Then she stomped out of the room and slammed her door. But, about 15 minutes later she did find something to eat.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 161788"] BBK, if I may.... When they are in that frame of mind, there is no rationalizing with them. I've done the 'how much better you have it than...' thing and there is no way in Hades that Wynter would ever admit to anything at that time. Simply because it was not an argument that was working in her favor. She would come back with something along the lines of, "So. They're used to not having as much." I kid you not. For a long time I worried she didn't have any empathy. It's what really led me to get her started in therapy. Thing is, she does have empathy. Tons. She's just not going to admit it at times like that. As far as the 2 choices and a friend going... You gave her the choices and she could take them or leave them. If she didn't want to go if her friend didn't go, then that's her choice. And that's exactly how I would have left it with her. I wouldn't ask her what she wants to do then. I would simply say ok and go on about my day. She wants you to entertain her but only on her terms. I would not engage her. I would simply tell her those were her choices, end of discussion. I don't think there is a parent at there who is able and/or willing to entertain their child all day long every day. Not only that, children need to learn to entertain themselves, build on their imagination, etc. My daughter was the same in wanting me to watch everything she did. It was all the time. I couldn't even enjoy time with friends because she was always yelling, "Mommy, watch!" I finally told her that I was not going to watch everything she did. If she had something special to show me, then I would. It took some time, but we got there. When she's bored, you could come up with chores for her to do. More than likely, if Tink is anything like Wynter and she sounds like she is, it will just end in a meltdown, rage, drama, drama, drama. And nothing I ever came up with - or even still today come up with - was something she wanted to do. So, she'll come to me and say she's bored and if I offer suggestions, they're not any good, but she still wants me to fix it. Now, instead I simply say, "I'm sorry." If they get bored enough, they will find something to do. Wynter came to me last night saying she was hungry and there was nothing in the house that would fill her up. Honest to God, the fridge and freezer are packed. We can not get anything else in without taking something out. Same with the pantry cupboards. I even have one box of cereal sitting on the counter because the cereal pantry is full. Silly me fell into the trap of offering things and, of course, they weren't any good. Frustrated, I finally told her that if she got hungry enough she would find something. I was frustrated, by the way, for getting s-ucked into it yet again. I do slip occasionally. And she stood there and glared at me for probably 3 full minutes. I wouldn't look at her. Then she stomped out of the room and slammed her door. But, about 15 minutes later she did find something to eat. [/QUOTE]
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