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Giant step backwards
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 746465" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>It is “unbearably sad.”</p><p>And sickeningly unfair how they make repeated huge mistakes and show up for you to “fix it.”</p><p>My husband and I had to go to therapy together and I went by myself at times.</p><p>It was very comforting and helped to sort things out a little.</p><p>In our case, we learned that setting boundaries was often helpful. Not necessarily for her benefit, but for ours. We had to lower our expectations. And accept that this might not have the greatest ending.</p><p>My husband, who handles this stuff better than many, lives by the motto “it is what it is.”</p><p></p><p>As a side note: We pay our daughter to take birth control. She gets a shot. When we get confirmation from the doctors office, she is reimbursed. Interestingly and sadly, she simply would not use it otherwise. No cause and effect reasoning. No care at all of the HUGE consequences of not using birth control.</p><p></p><p>Another side note...when we adopted our daughter, the social worker told us the mothers she works with often do this repeatedly. I was aghast. They get pregnant, out the baby up for adoption and do it again. WTH? Having a baby is very painful. Giving the child up for adoption has to be very emotional. That should of been some sort of weird clue of the madness I was entering. </p><p></p><p>Please consider counseling. These burdens are huge.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 746465, member: 4152"] It is “unbearably sad.” And sickeningly unfair how they make repeated huge mistakes and show up for you to “fix it.” My husband and I had to go to therapy together and I went by myself at times. It was very comforting and helped to sort things out a little. In our case, we learned that setting boundaries was often helpful. Not necessarily for her benefit, but for ours. We had to lower our expectations. And accept that this might not have the greatest ending. My husband, who handles this stuff better than many, lives by the motto “it is what it is.” As a side note: We pay our daughter to take birth control. She gets a shot. When we get confirmation from the doctors office, she is reimbursed. Interestingly and sadly, she simply would not use it otherwise. No cause and effect reasoning. No care at all of the HUGE consequences of not using birth control. Another side note...when we adopted our daughter, the social worker told us the mothers she works with often do this repeatedly. I was aghast. They get pregnant, out the baby up for adoption and do it again. WTH? Having a baby is very painful. Giving the child up for adoption has to be very emotional. That should of been some sort of weird clue of the madness I was entering. Please consider counseling. These burdens are huge. [/QUOTE]
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