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Substance Abuse
Girlfriends past drug use.
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 627524" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Everyone of us on this board raised our children to avoid drugs and alcohol. One of mine did, one didn't. If you are looking for some magic way to raise a child so that he/she doesn't ever abuse drugs or alcohol let me tell you that it doesn't exist.</p><p></p><p>My children were raised in a two-parent home with parents with no history of drug or alcohol abuse, went to church faithfully on Sundays, and they both excelled in sports and school. Our oldest daughter still experimented with drugs in her late teens and is now an alcoholic and almost died from an heroin overdose a little over a year ago. </p><p></p><p>There are no guarantees when you have children. Your girlfriend's history might actually drive them away from drugs and alcohol abuse if she shared her story. However, your girlfriend might also have a genetic susceptibility that she can pass on to your children. </p><p> </p><p>Honestly, though, if you dig far enough, anyone you meet will probably have a sibling, aunt or uncle, grandparent, cousin, or some other relation with a drug or alcohol problem. </p><p></p><p>You simply have to do the best job you can raising your children and hope for the best. </p><p></p><p>As far as your comparison of past casual sex to past drug use, why isn't it relevant? If you can commit to a future where you are faithful to your wife, why can't you accept that she will commit to a sober lifestyle? Especially if you are sure that she is no longer drinking or using drugs.</p><p></p><p>It sounds to me that the sticking point is that she will not use the words that you want to hear . . . that her past drug use was a big deal and it was wrong. If you can't get past that, I don't see how your relationship can continue. As far as her not telling you the extent of her past drug use . . . maybe she realized that you would have the exact reaction that you are having now and she didn't want it to come between you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 627524, member: 1967"] Everyone of us on this board raised our children to avoid drugs and alcohol. One of mine did, one didn't. If you are looking for some magic way to raise a child so that he/she doesn't ever abuse drugs or alcohol let me tell you that it doesn't exist. My children were raised in a two-parent home with parents with no history of drug or alcohol abuse, went to church faithfully on Sundays, and they both excelled in sports and school. Our oldest daughter still experimented with drugs in her late teens and is now an alcoholic and almost died from an heroin overdose a little over a year ago. There are no guarantees when you have children. Your girlfriend's history might actually drive them away from drugs and alcohol abuse if she shared her story. However, your girlfriend might also have a genetic susceptibility that she can pass on to your children. Honestly, though, if you dig far enough, anyone you meet will probably have a sibling, aunt or uncle, grandparent, cousin, or some other relation with a drug or alcohol problem. You simply have to do the best job you can raising your children and hope for the best. As far as your comparison of past casual sex to past drug use, why isn't it relevant? If you can commit to a future where you are faithful to your wife, why can't you accept that she will commit to a sober lifestyle? Especially if you are sure that she is no longer drinking or using drugs. It sounds to me that the sticking point is that she will not use the words that you want to hear . . . that her past drug use was a big deal and it was wrong. If you can't get past that, I don't see how your relationship can continue. As far as her not telling you the extent of her past drug use . . . maybe she realized that you would have the exact reaction that you are having now and she didn't want it to come between you. [/QUOTE]
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