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Substance Abuse
Girlfriends past drug use.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627538" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>But you don't see your own probably messing around with sex as a bad thing, even though you could have gotten an STD or fathered a child. In fact, to be honest, if you have messed around, you may HAVE a child. All of us do some things that may not be smart. I would not have married a man who had been the stud of the county, hitting on girls right and left and could not control his urges. Don't get me wrong. I am very anti-drug. My husband and I don't drink or smoke (if you smoke cigarettes, I think you are being a hypocrite...nasty habit, unnatural, often kills you).</p><p></p><p>At any rate, my daughter did drugs anyway.</p><p></p><p>There is no way, as Kathy says, that you can prevent that for sure.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand, your girlfriend IS hanging around with drug users. My daughter dumped them once she quit using drugs.</p><p></p><p>Your girlfriend drank until she blacked out...that is a serious symptom of alcoholism.</p><p></p><p>Every single one of us can only control one person in the entire world...ourselves. We can not control our girlfriends, our future spouses, or even our children. You can not make your girlfriend feel regret if she doesn't. You can push the issue until she lies to you about it maybe, but you can't make her FEEL it and you can't make her never tell your future children about her drug use. If I'd used drugs I'd have told my kids. I just don't hold back from them...it is who I am. I wouldn't glorify it, but I wouldn't lie either.</p><p></p><p>You may love each other very much. In the end, so many love matches end in divorce. So therefore love is not enough. I think it is wisest to use your head along with your heart to evaluate if she is the one for you and if you are the one for her. It seems you do not have the same values and that's very important. You say this issue KEEPS coming up, although she has been clean now for four years. If it does, it is probably going to end up being a dealbreaker. It bothers you and it's not going to go away.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, whatever you decide to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627538, member: 1550"] But you don't see your own probably messing around with sex as a bad thing, even though you could have gotten an STD or fathered a child. In fact, to be honest, if you have messed around, you may HAVE a child. All of us do some things that may not be smart. I would not have married a man who had been the stud of the county, hitting on girls right and left and could not control his urges. Don't get me wrong. I am very anti-drug. My husband and I don't drink or smoke (if you smoke cigarettes, I think you are being a hypocrite...nasty habit, unnatural, often kills you). At any rate, my daughter did drugs anyway. There is no way, as Kathy says, that you can prevent that for sure. On the other hand, your girlfriend IS hanging around with drug users. My daughter dumped them once she quit using drugs. Your girlfriend drank until she blacked out...that is a serious symptom of alcoholism. Every single one of us can only control one person in the entire world...ourselves. We can not control our girlfriends, our future spouses, or even our children. You can not make your girlfriend feel regret if she doesn't. You can push the issue until she lies to you about it maybe, but you can't make her FEEL it and you can't make her never tell your future children about her drug use. If I'd used drugs I'd have told my kids. I just don't hold back from them...it is who I am. I wouldn't glorify it, but I wouldn't lie either. You may love each other very much. In the end, so many love matches end in divorce. So therefore love is not enough. I think it is wisest to use your head along with your heart to evaluate if she is the one for you and if you are the one for her. It seems you do not have the same values and that's very important. You say this issue KEEPS coming up, although she has been clean now for four years. If it does, it is probably going to end up being a dealbreaker. It bothers you and it's not going to go away. Good luck, whatever you decide to do. [/QUOTE]
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