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Substance Abuse
Girlfriends past drug use.
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<blockquote data-quote="n64bomb" data-source="post: 627608" data-attributes="member: 18055"><p>You are going to have some touch decisions to make in your life. Do you really know if she was an addict before? (how many addicts wont acknowledge they have a problem, especially if her friend is offering her drugs several years after she has been off drugs---wouldnt she have set the tone with these friends by now, years ago, that she isnt interested in drugs?) Major red flag to me that although you trust and believe her, I think there is something else; ie another part of the story you have not heard maybe? Sorry to be suspicious, but usually when a person finally realizes he/she wants to stop drugs, they make it very clear that they have stopped drugs, and stop hanging around those persons that encourage that kind of behavior. I'm opinionated, but I would never consider an addict to be the mother of my children, under any circumstances. Like Gus says in Breaking Bad "Never trust a drug addict". That is probably offensive to some of you, but I guess that is where my medical training has taken me. By the way, one of my patients, his brother got robbed on the street and killed for his pain pills yesterday. My patient was really shaken up. All of this over his pain pills for his cancer. His brother told me numerous time he was "in with the wrong crowd". Is that what you want to happen to the mother of your children for being associated with "the wrong crowd"? And if you think her friends' drug addictions wont affect you and her, you have another thing coming! I don't know how long your girlfriend has been friends with the people/person offering her cocaine/other drugs, but I wouldnt want her to be around any person that could offer her cocaine. I would tell her she has to make a choice. This is my opinion, but I would tell her she cant hang around anyone that could be exposing her to drugs, and she would either have to choose me or the drug influential people (hypothetical because I wouldnt date an addict anyway). Maybe im just too harsh, but drugs is a serious issue.</p><p></p><p>Dont let people make you think you have trust issues with your woman over this. There are 2 issues that i see:</p><p>1. you dont really know if your woman was an addict?/you dont know if she might ever use drugs again?cloud over her past that is unresolved complemented with carefree drug attitude and not knowing if she actually is condoning drugs in a better light when with her friends?</p><p>2. external factors(druggie friends that she hasnt set clear expectations of her not doing drugs, despite she hasnt used in 3 years??) exist to encourage drug abuse in jer future, and those factors, while she told the one friend no and not again--or so she tells you, are still present</p><p></p><p>Both of those must be addressed. If I thought my woman was cheating/doing drugs/committing a murder/and so on--ie things of a very serious issue that are essentially deal breakers for a relationship/serious crimes-- I would investigate fully and do whatever I needed to find the truth, and I would not view those as a violation of trust. I am sure others would disagree. Go find some answers. </p><p></p><p>I would also tell her she needs to put everything on the table and tell me about her past. I wouldnt take a wishy washy "i dont want to talk to you about that because you would be disapproving" or another quote like that, especially since she is obviously talking about this stuff with her friends! I would make it very clear that she has to put all her cards on the table; otherwise, the relationship couldnt go on.</p><p></p><p>I'm a pharmacist. I dont personally have an addict as a family member. An acquintence from my junior high days got into drugs, but i wasn't close with him and never hung out with him outside of school sports. I deal with druggies all day, either trying to pick up someone elses medication, get medications early, get sudafed to cook crystal meth, and so on.</p><p></p><p>So many red flags. I would dig into her past. Maybe im too insecure. But she isnt telling you the whole story, and that much is very obvious to me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="n64bomb, post: 627608, member: 18055"] You are going to have some touch decisions to make in your life. Do you really know if she was an addict before? (how many addicts wont acknowledge they have a problem, especially if her friend is offering her drugs several years after she has been off drugs---wouldnt she have set the tone with these friends by now, years ago, that she isnt interested in drugs?) Major red flag to me that although you trust and believe her, I think there is something else; ie another part of the story you have not heard maybe? Sorry to be suspicious, but usually when a person finally realizes he/she wants to stop drugs, they make it very clear that they have stopped drugs, and stop hanging around those persons that encourage that kind of behavior. I'm opinionated, but I would never consider an addict to be the mother of my children, under any circumstances. Like Gus says in Breaking Bad "Never trust a drug addict". That is probably offensive to some of you, but I guess that is where my medical training has taken me. By the way, one of my patients, his brother got robbed on the street and killed for his pain pills yesterday. My patient was really shaken up. All of this over his pain pills for his cancer. His brother told me numerous time he was "in with the wrong crowd". Is that what you want to happen to the mother of your children for being associated with "the wrong crowd"? And if you think her friends' drug addictions wont affect you and her, you have another thing coming! I don't know how long your girlfriend has been friends with the people/person offering her cocaine/other drugs, but I wouldnt want her to be around any person that could offer her cocaine. I would tell her she has to make a choice. This is my opinion, but I would tell her she cant hang around anyone that could be exposing her to drugs, and she would either have to choose me or the drug influential people (hypothetical because I wouldnt date an addict anyway). Maybe im just too harsh, but drugs is a serious issue. Dont let people make you think you have trust issues with your woman over this. There are 2 issues that i see: 1. you dont really know if your woman was an addict?/you dont know if she might ever use drugs again?cloud over her past that is unresolved complemented with carefree drug attitude and not knowing if she actually is condoning drugs in a better light when with her friends? 2. external factors(druggie friends that she hasnt set clear expectations of her not doing drugs, despite she hasnt used in 3 years??) exist to encourage drug abuse in jer future, and those factors, while she told the one friend no and not again--or so she tells you, are still present Both of those must be addressed. If I thought my woman was cheating/doing drugs/committing a murder/and so on--ie things of a very serious issue that are essentially deal breakers for a relationship/serious crimes-- I would investigate fully and do whatever I needed to find the truth, and I would not view those as a violation of trust. I am sure others would disagree. Go find some answers. I would also tell her she needs to put everything on the table and tell me about her past. I wouldnt take a wishy washy "i dont want to talk to you about that because you would be disapproving" or another quote like that, especially since she is obviously talking about this stuff with her friends! I would make it very clear that she has to put all her cards on the table; otherwise, the relationship couldnt go on. I'm a pharmacist. I dont personally have an addict as a family member. An acquintence from my junior high days got into drugs, but i wasn't close with him and never hung out with him outside of school sports. I deal with druggies all day, either trying to pick up someone elses medication, get medications early, get sudafed to cook crystal meth, and so on. So many red flags. I would dig into her past. Maybe im too insecure. But she isnt telling you the whole story, and that much is very obvious to me. [/QUOTE]
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