Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Going crazy/need perspective/need to detach-Long
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 114156" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>MWM,</p><p> I'm sorry that you are feeling bad. I really think you have to realize not everyone sees difficult child as a delight and a joy to behold. Your view of Lucas is wonderful and so caring but if he is anything like my difficult child he is tolerated by others. Even those who loved him start to pull away as difficult child get older and goes from a quirky kid to a strange adolescent to a weird adult. I understand it. I work on making sure they realize difficult child is a person but I can't and shouldn't fix their relationship. </p><p> Your son is laying a foundation of a family unit with wife and new baby. His stress is probably through the roof. Make things easier for him and not about you. Visit without Lucas after the baby is born. Remember each are your son and each need different things from you. Older son needs the wisdom that comes from living through stressful times and then making it. Stop focusing on how much it will cost you. Offer to come help with the house after baby is born. Leave Lucas with husband or daughter. Be your other's son's support for a week. Help son have time to bond with daughter and wife. Doing the feeding and cleaning for a week will be gift enough for this young family. If you can't manage the funding, then just write a lovely note to son telling him what a good dad he will be because of XYZ traits.</p><p></p><p>Kids have to disengage and bond with their spouses and children. It's almost as if they turn away while such a new couple but as they grow and are more comfortable with the new family they find their way back. Seems as if you had a nice relationship with your son but if you expect them to think of you, it rarely happens. They evolve into the next phase of their life development. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry that you feel bad. You do what's best for you. You do what you want or should for your adult son's. If son asks you to come to help, be gracious. Say yes if that's what you want to do. Say "sorry, it's not possibe with our finances" and leave the whine behind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 114156, member: 3"] MWM, I'm sorry that you are feeling bad. I really think you have to realize not everyone sees difficult child as a delight and a joy to behold. Your view of Lucas is wonderful and so caring but if he is anything like my difficult child he is tolerated by others. Even those who loved him start to pull away as difficult child get older and goes from a quirky kid to a strange adolescent to a weird adult. I understand it. I work on making sure they realize difficult child is a person but I can't and shouldn't fix their relationship. Your son is laying a foundation of a family unit with wife and new baby. His stress is probably through the roof. Make things easier for him and not about you. Visit without Lucas after the baby is born. Remember each are your son and each need different things from you. Older son needs the wisdom that comes from living through stressful times and then making it. Stop focusing on how much it will cost you. Offer to come help with the house after baby is born. Leave Lucas with husband or daughter. Be your other's son's support for a week. Help son have time to bond with daughter and wife. Doing the feeding and cleaning for a week will be gift enough for this young family. If you can't manage the funding, then just write a lovely note to son telling him what a good dad he will be because of XYZ traits. Kids have to disengage and bond with their spouses and children. It's almost as if they turn away while such a new couple but as they grow and are more comfortable with the new family they find their way back. Seems as if you had a nice relationship with your son but if you expect them to think of you, it rarely happens. They evolve into the next phase of their life development. I'm sorry that you feel bad. You do what's best for you. You do what you want or should for your adult son's. If son asks you to come to help, be gracious. Say yes if that's what you want to do. Say "sorry, it's not possibe with our finances" and leave the whine behind. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Going crazy/need perspective/need to detach-Long
Top