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Going crazy/need perspective/need to detach-Long
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 114295" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>OMG! Thanks to ALL OF YOU! Janet, you made me laugh...I loved it!</p><p></p><p>I talked to my son. He assured me that he loves Lucas and that will never change--I took it too hard. He just wants to tell Lucas he has to take care of the house when he's there. I still think it's best to limit his time there because Lucas likes to "fiddle" with things. Fran, I know Lucas is different, trust me. That's why I want him in assisted living or a group home. He wouldn't make it on his own--he isn't wired like everyone else. </p><p></p><p>My daughter won't go to AA, but I also talked to her and she assured me that, if anything, she's into healthful living now (she lost 30 pounds and works out daily) and is existing on vitamin supplements, health food, herbal tea, yoga etc. I can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do. She's been clean for three years now. I will never NOT worry that she will slip, but I can't force her to do anything she doesn't feel is necessary. For now, she is not using drugs and laughed when I brought it up. "Mom! I'm NOT going to do that again. Do you really think I could work twelve hours a day on drugs???" Her reaction reassured me.</p><p></p><p>I plan on seeing the baby while keeping the kids home. My eleven year old is already acting jealous of the baby: "The baby isn't your child, you know." Ugh. I'd feel bad fussing over the baby with my daughter there, feeling jealous. And I don't want to have to look after Lucas while I'm bonding big time with and spoiling my granddaughter. They'll be fine at home. Hub will stay here. </p><p></p><p>This particular son is very close to me. He makes jokes about being "a momma's boy." Although he says it in gest, his wife does get exasperated because he calls me for advice when he should really talk to her (and I tell him that). It's kind of good we live far apart because I do want him to look to his wife (she's wonderful) and not me. He is heading that way with the baby coming. Also, his wife calls me when they have a fight, putting me in the position of mediating. She'll say "He'll listen to you." This rarely happens, but, when it does, I really don't like it. Her own mom is very cold towards her so she confides in me. They really do need their space and time together without me. It's best I live three hours away.</p><p></p><p>I have a tendency to get depressed and today is a down day. Thank God for medications. At least I can pop a PRN tranq. and then go work out...lol. I also need to learn to focus off my grown kids. They have their own lives, but I'm shocked at how much I still worry about them. As for Scott, I have a little hope that one day we will have a relationship again. Until then, I need to get a life...lol. I applied to volunteer at a shelter for domestically abused women today. It sounds VERY interesting and I'm anxious to start. Also, I have another book coming out...the last book really sold well for an e-book and got a lot of buzz. And I'm going to look for a part time job. Also, I think I'll shock hub by wearing something naughty to bed tonight...lol. I'm 54. I lived long enough to finally start focusing on myself, right?</p><p></p><p>All of you--every single one--rocks. Fran, I so love hearing from you because I have a hunch our boys are very much alike and may someday be even more alike. And, Janet, bless you for making me laugh today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 114295, member: 1550"] OMG! Thanks to ALL OF YOU! Janet, you made me laugh...I loved it! I talked to my son. He assured me that he loves Lucas and that will never change--I took it too hard. He just wants to tell Lucas he has to take care of the house when he's there. I still think it's best to limit his time there because Lucas likes to "fiddle" with things. Fran, I know Lucas is different, trust me. That's why I want him in assisted living or a group home. He wouldn't make it on his own--he isn't wired like everyone else. My daughter won't go to AA, but I also talked to her and she assured me that, if anything, she's into healthful living now (she lost 30 pounds and works out daily) and is existing on vitamin supplements, health food, herbal tea, yoga etc. I can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do. She's been clean for three years now. I will never NOT worry that she will slip, but I can't force her to do anything she doesn't feel is necessary. For now, she is not using drugs and laughed when I brought it up. "Mom! I'm NOT going to do that again. Do you really think I could work twelve hours a day on drugs???" Her reaction reassured me. I plan on seeing the baby while keeping the kids home. My eleven year old is already acting jealous of the baby: "The baby isn't your child, you know." Ugh. I'd feel bad fussing over the baby with my daughter there, feeling jealous. And I don't want to have to look after Lucas while I'm bonding big time with and spoiling my granddaughter. They'll be fine at home. Hub will stay here. This particular son is very close to me. He makes jokes about being "a momma's boy." Although he says it in gest, his wife does get exasperated because he calls me for advice when he should really talk to her (and I tell him that). It's kind of good we live far apart because I do want him to look to his wife (she's wonderful) and not me. He is heading that way with the baby coming. Also, his wife calls me when they have a fight, putting me in the position of mediating. She'll say "He'll listen to you." This rarely happens, but, when it does, I really don't like it. Her own mom is very cold towards her so she confides in me. They really do need their space and time together without me. It's best I live three hours away. I have a tendency to get depressed and today is a down day. Thank God for medications. At least I can pop a PRN tranq. and then go work out...lol. I also need to learn to focus off my grown kids. They have their own lives, but I'm shocked at how much I still worry about them. As for Scott, I have a little hope that one day we will have a relationship again. Until then, I need to get a life...lol. I applied to volunteer at a shelter for domestically abused women today. It sounds VERY interesting and I'm anxious to start. Also, I have another book coming out...the last book really sold well for an e-book and got a lot of buzz. And I'm going to look for a part time job. Also, I think I'll shock hub by wearing something naughty to bed tonight...lol. I'm 54. I lived long enough to finally start focusing on myself, right? All of you--every single one--rocks. Fran, I so love hearing from you because I have a hunch our boys are very much alike and may someday be even more alike. And, Janet, bless you for making me laugh today. [/QUOTE]
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