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Parent Emeritus
Gone for a long time, now back, need support! (Very long)
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<blockquote data-quote="Terryforvols" data-source="post: 338190" data-attributes="member: 2127"><p>Thanks for responding. We are just trying to manuever that fine line between helping and enabling. mother in law enables difficult child husband, denies he still goes out and drinks, etc., even though while we were there and difficult child in detox he went out NY Eve and didn't get home till 2:00-3:00 of course told husband he "wasn't drunk". Right!! difficult child has created this huge mess, but her mental condition is worse than when we admitted her to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in 03/05. She had stopped all antidepressants, therapy, etc., because of $$ issues. Her hubby "allowed" her to go back to her therapist this week and she is back on Celexa and low-dose Adderall, which she needs to take to the 28-day program because they are just a substance abuse program. She has been approved for 28 days, but if I understand it, they can approve longer stays based on her improvement. My fear is that her daughter's 2nd B-day occurs in March, and she will not want to be an inpt then, so there is a strong possibility that she could play the game rather than do what is best. Those difficult children just seem to be able to look 5 secs ahead, rather than 5 years. Missing 1 birthday is worth the healing that is needed to enjoy future B-days!! </p><p></p><p>Anyway, we are just torn between saving her and letting it all happen. Even by helping with her checks, there is a strong chance criminal chgs will be placed and she may get some jail time, though hopefully probation with a stipulation that she needs to go to a mental health facility for x amount of time. Her lawyer says probation is her best option for that because TX would rather punish than rehabilitate. I don't want her to not face consequences, but just straight punishment is not all she needs. We are 52 years old and buried in debt, trying to rebuild our retirement from putting her in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in 2005, and are not willing to ruin our lives this time. At least this time, husband and I are on the same page, which we weren't with her initial drug use in early 2000s. In fact, our marriage is probably the best it has been in ages, but this has torn us both up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Terryforvols, post: 338190, member: 2127"] Thanks for responding. We are just trying to manuever that fine line between helping and enabling. mother in law enables difficult child husband, denies he still goes out and drinks, etc., even though while we were there and difficult child in detox he went out NY Eve and didn't get home till 2:00-3:00 of course told husband he "wasn't drunk". Right!! difficult child has created this huge mess, but her mental condition is worse than when we admitted her to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in 03/05. She had stopped all antidepressants, therapy, etc., because of $$ issues. Her hubby "allowed" her to go back to her therapist this week and she is back on Celexa and low-dose Adderall, which she needs to take to the 28-day program because they are just a substance abuse program. She has been approved for 28 days, but if I understand it, they can approve longer stays based on her improvement. My fear is that her daughter's 2nd B-day occurs in March, and she will not want to be an inpt then, so there is a strong possibility that she could play the game rather than do what is best. Those difficult children just seem to be able to look 5 secs ahead, rather than 5 years. Missing 1 birthday is worth the healing that is needed to enjoy future B-days!! Anyway, we are just torn between saving her and letting it all happen. Even by helping with her checks, there is a strong chance criminal chgs will be placed and she may get some jail time, though hopefully probation with a stipulation that she needs to go to a mental health facility for x amount of time. Her lawyer says probation is her best option for that because TX would rather punish than rehabilitate. I don't want her to not face consequences, but just straight punishment is not all she needs. We are 52 years old and buried in debt, trying to rebuild our retirement from putting her in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in 2005, and are not willing to ruin our lives this time. At least this time, husband and I are on the same page, which we weren't with her initial drug use in early 2000s. In fact, our marriage is probably the best it has been in ages, but this has torn us both up. [/QUOTE]
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