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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 236241" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I think it is scary for our friends to witness threatening behavior from our difficult children against us. Last Spring I had a confrontation with difficult child during recess on the school playground. I knew he was angry but I did feel safe. I was trying to get him off the playground and away from the other kids. I stood between him and the other kids to try to shelter him from what I was sure was their stares. Another mom, a friend of mine who was helping with recess duty later told me that it looked like difficult child was going to hit me. His behavior really scared many of the other moms but like you and others on this board, I have a tendency to look past the anger of my difficult child and look at the heart. We see our child angry or hurting and/or frustrated in that moment. They are looking for a way out without loosing face or they are "stuck" in their mood at the moment. No one knows your difficult child better than you do so what appears as threatening to others, you have learned to manage. You know for the most part what to expect. Yes, I know there is always the chance of the unexpected but I am sure you know where I am coming from - easier to feel than to explain.</p><p></p><p>Always be aware of the possible danger of an angry difficult child and continue to work it out with the love you have in your heart. </p><p></p><p>You are doing a great job - what a very hard one you have but you have learned so much.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong and stay sure. Your difficult child is hearing your strength even if he doesn't show it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 236241, member: 5096"] I think it is scary for our friends to witness threatening behavior from our difficult children against us. Last Spring I had a confrontation with difficult child during recess on the school playground. I knew he was angry but I did feel safe. I was trying to get him off the playground and away from the other kids. I stood between him and the other kids to try to shelter him from what I was sure was their stares. Another mom, a friend of mine who was helping with recess duty later told me that it looked like difficult child was going to hit me. His behavior really scared many of the other moms but like you and others on this board, I have a tendency to look past the anger of my difficult child and look at the heart. We see our child angry or hurting and/or frustrated in that moment. They are looking for a way out without loosing face or they are "stuck" in their mood at the moment. No one knows your difficult child better than you do so what appears as threatening to others, you have learned to manage. You know for the most part what to expect. Yes, I know there is always the chance of the unexpected but I am sure you know where I am coming from - easier to feel than to explain. Always be aware of the possible danger of an angry difficult child and continue to work it out with the love you have in your heart. You are doing a great job - what a very hard one you have but you have learned so much. Stay strong and stay sure. Your difficult child is hearing your strength even if he doesn't show it. [/QUOTE]
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