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Good post about my Dad
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 338344" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Toto, </p><p></p><p>You know as weird as this is; this being your father. You gave yourself a chance in as much as finding forgiveness for this person where most people would not. I think that is something that you needed to do, you did it, it's done, it didn't work out - oh well; you tried. Lesson learned, no but what if's left to ponder and think for the rest of your life. </p><p></p><p>As far as exposing N & K to it? Well I guess you could look at it two ways. On one side here are your children whom you would never expose to anything harmful because you had a lifetime of harmful and in your mind made a pledge to protect them from all harm. On the other hand I can't see where you've failed in that pledge at all by exposing them to your Dad. He hasn't harmed them - he's actually educated them. Thank him for the education and move on. </p><p></p><p>See I worried a great deal about Dude going to FL and seeing bio Dad, and my emotions ranged from thinking bio-dad would kill or kidnap Dude to get back at me to hoping bio D had made even some minor changes in his life that could affect Dude in a positive light. Neither happened. What did happen? Dude saw bioslob for what he was, is and will always will be. A big, nothing. In a way I thought it would make me cut flips to be vindicated. It didn't. It wasn't satisfying in the least. What it did do? Made me realize I did the right thing after all the years of wondering. It wiped out my "what if's". </p><p></p><p>So now your girls have in their little arsenals - a knowledge of certain things that can be used as armor regarding future meetings of people like Grandpa. They have a fantastic Mom and Dad to model themselves after. You don't need to worry that this damaged them (like it did you) they didn't get enough exposure to hurt. He wasn't part of their lives long enough. It hurts you more than it does them. That's the part that makes ME angry. That this man has such a lovely, kind, generous, thoughtful daughter. A phoenix an extraordinary Phoenix.....and I guess if anyone is to be pitied here? It's him. He's lost all the way around hasn't he, and he's still loosing generation after generation. </p><p></p><p>I love ya girl.....fly! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 338344, member: 4964"] Toto, You know as weird as this is; this being your father. You gave yourself a chance in as much as finding forgiveness for this person where most people would not. I think that is something that you needed to do, you did it, it's done, it didn't work out - oh well; you tried. Lesson learned, no but what if's left to ponder and think for the rest of your life. As far as exposing N & K to it? Well I guess you could look at it two ways. On one side here are your children whom you would never expose to anything harmful because you had a lifetime of harmful and in your mind made a pledge to protect them from all harm. On the other hand I can't see where you've failed in that pledge at all by exposing them to your Dad. He hasn't harmed them - he's actually educated them. Thank him for the education and move on. See I worried a great deal about Dude going to FL and seeing bio Dad, and my emotions ranged from thinking bio-dad would kill or kidnap Dude to get back at me to hoping bio D had made even some minor changes in his life that could affect Dude in a positive light. Neither happened. What did happen? Dude saw bioslob for what he was, is and will always will be. A big, nothing. In a way I thought it would make me cut flips to be vindicated. It didn't. It wasn't satisfying in the least. What it did do? Made me realize I did the right thing after all the years of wondering. It wiped out my "what if's". So now your girls have in their little arsenals - a knowledge of certain things that can be used as armor regarding future meetings of people like Grandpa. They have a fantastic Mom and Dad to model themselves after. You don't need to worry that this damaged them (like it did you) they didn't get enough exposure to hurt. He wasn't part of their lives long enough. It hurts you more than it does them. That's the part that makes ME angry. That this man has such a lovely, kind, generous, thoughtful daughter. A phoenix an extraordinary Phoenix.....and I guess if anyone is to be pitied here? It's him. He's lost all the way around hasn't he, and he's still loosing generation after generation. I love ya girl.....fly! :winking: Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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