Got a call and letter from difficult child

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nancy, Apr 4, 2011.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She is still on restriction but the director had her call to see if I coud get her a dr appointment. Evidently the antibiotic she is taking has caused a reaction and she has bumps all over her tongue. So I am picking her up and taking her to the dr this afternoon and then back to the sober house. The director told me she is fitting in very well and is very friendly to everyone and they love her. That's what everyone always says about her, why can't we ever see that side. I cautioned her that difficult child does not always take things seriously and does not do a lot of self reflection. She assured me that would change.

    Then I got a very encouraging letter from her in the mail. She said she loves it there and the other women and so nice. There are a lot of young women like her and several older and she said it's nice to have both. She said she is learning so much and has never been so excited about being sober. She said there are a lot of rules and they have to get up at 7 am and on Tuesday and Thursday 5 am. They have group from 8:25 - 3:45, dinner at 5, outside meeting after dinner, then back to the house to watch movies and bed. Their day is much more structured than it was at the residential treatment center. She said she is very anxious to see us and loves us very much.

    I know this is the honeymoon phase but I am encouraged that she has adjusted so well and is actually still there.

    Last edited: Apr 4, 2011
  2. tawnya

    tawnya New Member

  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

  4. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    VERY nice!!! :)
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She is still there - that is the greatest part! Yeah difficult child!
  6. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Thanks for the update. Enjoy the peace of this time. Many "honeymoons" turn into lasting unions....
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Yay difficult child!!!!

    Eww for the allergic reaction that stinks.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Glad you're feeling better, Nancy. DDD
  9. Mrs.McNear51

    Mrs.McNear51 Member

    Great News Nancy. One day at a time....hopefully, this is it! Wish I could say the same about Sweet Betsy!
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Toasting you Nancy with my glass of milk!

    Angels, angels, angels!
  11. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Very good so far! How did the afternoon trip to dr. go?
  12. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The afternoon trip went great. She looked wonderful, better than she has in a long time, she looks happy and well. She says she loves it there and really wants this to work and to be part of our family again. While we waited for the prescription she got some muchies to share with the girls while they are watching their movies at night. She is settled in and seems to be taking it seriously. She said it is so much better than residential rehab was because there are no guys there and you really get to concentrate on you. She has already been volunteering at a church serving food and says she loves being busy.

    I was so relieved to see she was doing so well. When I think about the $30,000 we spent on rehab and she came back worse than when she went in I wish we had gone this route first. Perhaps it prepared her to accept her addiction but at what expense. In retrospect treatment centers should be single gender.

  13. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great news!
  14. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    I couldn't agree more about the single gender with-regards to rehab. People - particularly young people - struggling with addiction don't need the distractions that would comewith a coed situation. So glad it's going well for her.
  15. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

  16. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Nancy, I am so happy for you all - what wonderful news!! You held your ground and it worked!!

    These sober living places - is it a requirement that they go to inpatient first or is this an option from the get go? I would happily pay for my kid to live in one if she could and wanted to.

    Unfortunately, mine still refuses to acknowledge she even has a problem...
  17. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    PG, The one my dtr looked into required that she have medical detox behind her, as they didn't have facilities for that. Other than that she just had to show some commitment and initiative by doing an interview and getting her affairs arranged (child care, sponsorship, no ongoing legal problems except to see PO) and be accepted by the entrance committee. Unfortunately in her case she didn't follow through on arranging the interview.
  18. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    PG I agree with HWGA. They do require detox first but that is usually easy to accomplish. For difficult child she just stopped herself and fortunately was not on any hard drugs where medical intervention was needed. It was mostly alcohol and pot and she did have some symptoms with the alcohol withdrawal like night sweats and body aches and chills, but she was detoxed before she went in. There are detox centers who will take insurance but my experience with those is that they just keep you there until your blood/urine tests are clean and physical withdrawal symtoms can last much longer.

    She did have to go through an interview and be accepted, she had to display a willingness to want to change and a commitment to stay at least the six months and longer if they felt necessary. She had to agree to follow the rules and curfew and get a job after three months. We have to pay $400 a month but that is nothing compared to what we had paid for rehab. I think we were very very lucky. This sober house is connected to a catholic church in the inner city. This particular church is well know for community service and the residents of the sober house do a lot of their volunteer work through this church. It is very well run and the interview process seems to have worked well in that most of the residents really do want to change. There are, of course, some who don't and they usually leave on their won. difficult child told me that two young girls left the other day and didn;t tell anyone, just walked out the front door. These girls were on heroin and the drug had too much of a hold on them, they couldn't make it in a less restrictive environment.

    You can start looking into sober living arrangements in your area for her. Even if she isn;t ready now, she may be at some later time and it helps to have some resources. My difficult child called this home three times in the past six months and never followed through. She had to wait until she hit bottom enough. I hope for your difficult child's sake and yours that she gets to that point soon and reaches out for help. You know how despondant I was, I never thought my difficult child would take that step.

  19. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

  20. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Fantastic news!! You never know what is going to click for them, but when it does it is such a huge relief :)