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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 242736" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>M23..........</p><p> </p><p>I have a suggestion that I think may help after reading your post. Take into consideration that I think you are a very loving, and brave Grandma for taking a child that you knew had behavior issues when you brought him to your home. Me, You and everyone else here was hoping against hope that he didn't or hoping like most of us do or did with our young children and grandchildren in hoping that a stable enviornment AND good nae GREAT parenting with a medications tweak and a little therapy would be what he needed and NOT another difficult child issue. For your heart I'm truly sorry. </p><p> </p><p>My suggestion is - supervised visits from your daughter. Not you being the supervisor - but a court appointed GAL or someone like that in YOUR home when SHE comes to visit "her" son. The reason I suggest this is because there is so much annomosity (and why wouldn't there be) between you and your daughter. I think if it's possible it would take a lot of the push and pull out of her visits. She being the one that is pushing AND pulling. With another 'non-family' member there observing? It would take the wind out of her sails. I wouldn't imagine that she would be texting in front of a GAL while she was just dying to see her son. Or being smart mouthed with you or argumentative with YOU - because someone would be there to report her behavior and yours (which I feel would and is a very calm and patient behavior) </p><p> </p><p>Realistically does anyone think even if she's married in a year that she will get custody of her child back? Not judging just wondering if this is the plan from CPS. I don't know HOW you have managed to do what you have done for your grandson this long. I think I was maybe one of the only people here to say (eeeeehh I dunno about this) when you wanted to bring him home (and I totally understood the reasoning), but....I know that even with my own son at some point I had to say ' I just can not do this anymore' and try to detach. </p><p> </p><p>Is anyone offering you a break or respite from your grandsons behaviors on the weekends? WE had a lovely respite couple that we would meet 1/2 way and they would take Dude for the weekend 2x a month to help us get a break AND the school district WILL PAY FOR a shadow for your grandson in school. You have to call an emergency meeting as his guardian for an IEP. It can be done. </p><p> </p><p>I admire you greatly for taking him into your home because I know he's already in your heart. My therapist told me one day that being in my heart may not be the best thing for Dude. </p><p> </p><p>Sending huge hugs to you dear. I really think you're a remarkable person. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 242736, member: 4964"] M23.......... I have a suggestion that I think may help after reading your post. Take into consideration that I think you are a very loving, and brave Grandma for taking a child that you knew had behavior issues when you brought him to your home. Me, You and everyone else here was hoping against hope that he didn't or hoping like most of us do or did with our young children and grandchildren in hoping that a stable enviornment AND good nae GREAT parenting with a medications tweak and a little therapy would be what he needed and NOT another difficult child issue. For your heart I'm truly sorry. My suggestion is - supervised visits from your daughter. Not you being the supervisor - but a court appointed GAL or someone like that in YOUR home when SHE comes to visit "her" son. The reason I suggest this is because there is so much annomosity (and why wouldn't there be) between you and your daughter. I think if it's possible it would take a lot of the push and pull out of her visits. She being the one that is pushing AND pulling. With another 'non-family' member there observing? It would take the wind out of her sails. I wouldn't imagine that she would be texting in front of a GAL while she was just dying to see her son. Or being smart mouthed with you or argumentative with YOU - because someone would be there to report her behavior and yours (which I feel would and is a very calm and patient behavior) Realistically does anyone think even if she's married in a year that she will get custody of her child back? Not judging just wondering if this is the plan from CPS. I don't know HOW you have managed to do what you have done for your grandson this long. I think I was maybe one of the only people here to say (eeeeehh I dunno about this) when you wanted to bring him home (and I totally understood the reasoning), but....I know that even with my own son at some point I had to say ' I just can not do this anymore' and try to detach. Is anyone offering you a break or respite from your grandsons behaviors on the weekends? WE had a lovely respite couple that we would meet 1/2 way and they would take Dude for the weekend 2x a month to help us get a break AND the school district WILL PAY FOR a shadow for your grandson in school. You have to call an emergency meeting as his guardian for an IEP. It can be done. I admire you greatly for taking him into your home because I know he's already in your heart. My therapist told me one day that being in my heart may not be the best thing for Dude. Sending huge hugs to you dear. I really think you're a remarkable person. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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