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Substance Abuse
Grass isn't greener.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 713829" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Im with your husband. A car is a guided mistle. When my daughter used drugs she was cut off from driving. Period. No drug user who drives drunk even for a few blocks should have a car, especially not bought and paid for and insured by you. He could kill himself or somebody else. I think its a very poor and dangerous, even irresponsible decision to allow it let alone encourage it.. why? Because we see them as poor little children instead of potentially lethal drivers?</p><p></p><p>I have no understanding of parents that give their irresponsible, drug users vehicles. Dad saw how he did not care for or appreciate his truck.</p><p></p><p>Son can walk, take public trans or ride a bike. His life will effectively be over if he harms or kills someone and is sued. Homicidal murder. 50% of all car accidents involve alcohol. No laughing matter. Two clean drug tests means nothing. Try two years completely sober and maybe him buying his own car and insurance. We made all our kids do this. Didnt kill them and all of them found ways to get to work even in cold Chicago and Wisconsin winters. Dont coddle him. He is a grown man, not a poor little boy of ten. Men his age are fighting in the military, succeeding in college, or sober and working hard full time. Your son is able bodied but wont do these things. Dont reward him.</p><p></p><p>He feels bad you wont let him live at your home? Too bad. Maybe he should grow up and behave like other grown kids. I didnt want to live with my own daughter when she used so we made her leave. She quit! Today she is thriving and productive!</p><p></p><p>Unless your brother wants to take him in, this reakly doesnt affect him...no e of his business. It affects you and husband, not him. Easy fir him to be soft about it. He doesnt have to deal with Son day to day </p><p></p><p>I hope your son can get to a good place.i dont think he will do it as long as you dont stand strong and set strict boundaries. Ive been on this forum for a ling time. It seems most quit at least here after we finally stop feeling sorry for them and stop helping bad behavior. You will probably regret it if you chose difficult son over husband. He will be there for you. Son will not. And fact is, his girls are living normal lives. You dont know if he would tolerate them behaving like your son. They arent.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. Are you in therapy?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 713829, member: 1550"] Im with your husband. A car is a guided mistle. When my daughter used drugs she was cut off from driving. Period. No drug user who drives drunk even for a few blocks should have a car, especially not bought and paid for and insured by you. He could kill himself or somebody else. I think its a very poor and dangerous, even irresponsible decision to allow it let alone encourage it.. why? Because we see them as poor little children instead of potentially lethal drivers? I have no understanding of parents that give their irresponsible, drug users vehicles. Dad saw how he did not care for or appreciate his truck. Son can walk, take public trans or ride a bike. His life will effectively be over if he harms or kills someone and is sued. Homicidal murder. 50% of all car accidents involve alcohol. No laughing matter. Two clean drug tests means nothing. Try two years completely sober and maybe him buying his own car and insurance. We made all our kids do this. Didnt kill them and all of them found ways to get to work even in cold Chicago and Wisconsin winters. Dont coddle him. He is a grown man, not a poor little boy of ten. Men his age are fighting in the military, succeeding in college, or sober and working hard full time. Your son is able bodied but wont do these things. Dont reward him. He feels bad you wont let him live at your home? Too bad. Maybe he should grow up and behave like other grown kids. I didnt want to live with my own daughter when she used so we made her leave. She quit! Today she is thriving and productive! Unless your brother wants to take him in, this reakly doesnt affect him...no e of his business. It affects you and husband, not him. Easy fir him to be soft about it. He doesnt have to deal with Son day to day I hope your son can get to a good place.i dont think he will do it as long as you dont stand strong and set strict boundaries. Ive been on this forum for a ling time. It seems most quit at least here after we finally stop feeling sorry for them and stop helping bad behavior. You will probably regret it if you chose difficult son over husband. He will be there for you. Son will not. And fact is, his girls are living normal lives. You dont know if he would tolerate them behaving like your son. They arent. Good luck. Are you in therapy? [/QUOTE]
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