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Grateful to read others stories and NarAnon
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<blockquote data-quote="Nandina" data-source="post: 762829" data-attributes="member: 23742"><p>Hi Gina and welcome. You have come to the right place for understanding and support. Your story sounds identical to mine and many others here who have been on this chaotic road a little longer with our kids and their drugs and misbehavior.</p><p></p><p>I want to make sure I understand—do you and your husband both regret kicking your son out? I wasn’t sure from reading your post how you felt.</p><p></p><p>Most of us here have given our kids chances to straighten up in order to live with us. As long as drugs and addiction continue to be involved, they never do. Even if you don’t classify it as full-blown addiction, the disrespectful, entitled and generally insolent behavior of these kids will continue as long as they are using drugs/alcohol, and especially if they have many opportunities presented to them without having to do much in return.</p><p></p><p>Although they may insist that they will change and follow the house rules, the drugs end up controlling their personalities and it almost always reverts back to the same old disrespect and entitlement that got them kicked out in the first place. But each if us is on our own path and must decide for ourselves if it is worth giving our kids second, third or who knows how many chances. We’ve all been there.</p><p></p><p>My advice would be to continue with any type of counseling and support you can get. We have members here who have had very good results with Naranon and I‘m sure they will be here soon to offer their support and encouragement. But I would not buy your son a car, pay for college, etc. UNLESS you are absolutely certain he is willing to change and he has demonstrated that. I wouldn’t pay for those things based on his word alone, hoping that by providing them he will change. That usually doesn’t work and you end up wasting a lot of money. And with each gift, he will become even more entitled.</p><p></p><p>Your son has told you how he feels about it. Right now I would believe him. This is so very hard but at least he is being honest with you.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting here, it helps so much. Hugs to you.</p><p></p><p>PS: You might get more responses if you start your own thread on a separate post. Stay with us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nandina, post: 762829, member: 23742"] Hi Gina and welcome. You have come to the right place for understanding and support. Your story sounds identical to mine and many others here who have been on this chaotic road a little longer with our kids and their drugs and misbehavior. I want to make sure I understand—do you and your husband both regret kicking your son out? I wasn’t sure from reading your post how you felt. Most of us here have given our kids chances to straighten up in order to live with us. As long as drugs and addiction continue to be involved, they never do. Even if you don’t classify it as full-blown addiction, the disrespectful, entitled and generally insolent behavior of these kids will continue as long as they are using drugs/alcohol, and especially if they have many opportunities presented to them without having to do much in return. Although they may insist that they will change and follow the house rules, the drugs end up controlling their personalities and it almost always reverts back to the same old disrespect and entitlement that got them kicked out in the first place. But each if us is on our own path and must decide for ourselves if it is worth giving our kids second, third or who knows how many chances. We’ve all been there. My advice would be to continue with any type of counseling and support you can get. We have members here who have had very good results with Naranon and I‘m sure they will be here soon to offer their support and encouragement. But I would not buy your son a car, pay for college, etc. UNLESS you are absolutely certain he is willing to change and he has demonstrated that. I wouldn’t pay for those things based on his word alone, hoping that by providing them he will change. That usually doesn’t work and you end up wasting a lot of money. And with each gift, he will become even more entitled. Your son has told you how he feels about it. Right now I would believe him. This is so very hard but at least he is being honest with you. Keep posting here, it helps so much. Hugs to you. PS: You might get more responses if you start your own thread on a separate post. Stay with us. [/QUOTE]
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