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grieving my son
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 96513" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>Stands, how did counseling go yesterday?? I hope it went well. I could be totally off with this, but I think a very important thing to discuss with your counselor, and maybe this has already been said and I missed it, but you need to discuss being happy by yourself and with yourself. I remember all too well being so consumed by difficult child's problems that easy child felt left out, so I have been there done that. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like you have a lot of trouble being by yourself and feeling left out. Almost like that has been your purpose for so long and now you don't know what to do with youself. You need to find another purpose, and that purpose is you. </p><p></p><p>I can say this because it is something I am going through right now, but for different reasons, and my counselor is helping me with it. My easy child and I moved into our own apartment about a month ago and in the beginning I was feeling pretty lonely at times. My brother in law and sister in law who have been so supportive of me and were keeping me so busy left for Florida about a week after I moved in and they won't be home until next weekend. My easy child has a busy life of her own, school, working, boyfriend, so I have had to adjust to spending so much more time by myself and at first I was feeling sorry for myself. Friday and Saturday nights have been pretty quiet for me around here, which was unheard of when s2bx and I were still together. We were never sitting home on a Friday or Saturday night. </p><p></p><p>Now through counseling I am learning to enjoy the time to myself. Last night was Saturday night and I spent it home alone, reading, watching t.v., going on the computer, and I enjoyed it. It took a few Saturdays, and long weekends, but I realized last night that it was o.k. to be here by myself enjoying my new home. I'm also starting to consider different things I might join that I was always too busy to before. Things that will keep me busy and maybe introduce me to some new people. </p><p></p><p>I don't know if any of this is helpful, but I just wanted to share my personal experience and maybe give you a little hope that you can just be you and be happy with it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 96513, member: 2442"] Stands, how did counseling go yesterday?? I hope it went well. I could be totally off with this, but I think a very important thing to discuss with your counselor, and maybe this has already been said and I missed it, but you need to discuss being happy by yourself and with yourself. I remember all too well being so consumed by difficult child's problems that easy child felt left out, so I have been there done that. It sounds like you have a lot of trouble being by yourself and feeling left out. Almost like that has been your purpose for so long and now you don't know what to do with youself. You need to find another purpose, and that purpose is you. I can say this because it is something I am going through right now, but for different reasons, and my counselor is helping me with it. My easy child and I moved into our own apartment about a month ago and in the beginning I was feeling pretty lonely at times. My brother in law and sister in law who have been so supportive of me and were keeping me so busy left for Florida about a week after I moved in and they won't be home until next weekend. My easy child has a busy life of her own, school, working, boyfriend, so I have had to adjust to spending so much more time by myself and at first I was feeling sorry for myself. Friday and Saturday nights have been pretty quiet for me around here, which was unheard of when s2bx and I were still together. We were never sitting home on a Friday or Saturday night. Now through counseling I am learning to enjoy the time to myself. Last night was Saturday night and I spent it home alone, reading, watching t.v., going on the computer, and I enjoyed it. It took a few Saturdays, and long weekends, but I realized last night that it was o.k. to be here by myself enjoying my new home. I'm also starting to consider different things I might join that I was always too busy to before. Things that will keep me busy and maybe introduce me to some new people. I don't know if any of this is helpful, but I just wanted to share my personal experience and maybe give you a little hope that you can just be you and be happy with it. [/QUOTE]
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