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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 160846" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>She probably is afraid of him because she can't control him. </p><p> </p><p>My mother in law is the kind of person who is only interested in a child if they are clever or smart or in some way make her look good as a grandparent. And if you are not sweet and compliant and able to be controlled or manipulated, she doesn't have much patience for you. </p><p> </p><p>We learned this the hard way when she came out to help me after husband's brain surgery in February. She was supposed to be getting the kids ready for bed while I had the night "off" and was watching the Academy Awards (like the only thing I've ever asked to watch undisturbed in my LIFE from ANYONE). difficult child 2 was being his usual silly self and she was being her usual bossy, impatient self. She told him to put something down, he told her "you're not my mom!" and she SLAPPED him, which sent him crying inconsolably to his room. </p><p> </p><p>I will never forgive her for that. difficult child said he wanted her to go home, and to this day, I don't think he looks forward to being around her. She ruined that relationship forever.</p><p> </p><p>My mom (who was also of the generation who believed "spare the rod, spoil the child") felt the woman was justified when I told her about it, and I explained (as a sort of warning to her) that in my opinion, grandchildren should not be afraid of being HIT by their grandparents, that she KNEW difficult child has problems beyond his control, she KNEW his medications wear off at night, and SHE is the ADULT and should be in CONTROL of her emotions when she is supposed to be caring for a child who is NOT in control of his.</p><p> </p><p>I will never, ever entrust the care of my children to her again.</p><p> </p><p>You can bet difficult child senses the tension. And you're right, it's lousy when good times are spoiled by people who just can't cope with a situation. They are better off staying away or keeping visits short.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 160846, member: 3444"] She probably is afraid of him because she can't control him. My mother in law is the kind of person who is only interested in a child if they are clever or smart or in some way make her look good as a grandparent. And if you are not sweet and compliant and able to be controlled or manipulated, she doesn't have much patience for you. We learned this the hard way when she came out to help me after husband's brain surgery in February. She was supposed to be getting the kids ready for bed while I had the night "off" and was watching the Academy Awards (like the only thing I've ever asked to watch undisturbed in my LIFE from ANYONE). difficult child 2 was being his usual silly self and she was being her usual bossy, impatient self. She told him to put something down, he told her "you're not my mom!" and she SLAPPED him, which sent him crying inconsolably to his room. I will never forgive her for that. difficult child said he wanted her to go home, and to this day, I don't think he looks forward to being around her. She ruined that relationship forever. My mom (who was also of the generation who believed "spare the rod, spoil the child") felt the woman was justified when I told her about it, and I explained (as a sort of warning to her) that in my opinion, grandchildren should not be afraid of being HIT by their grandparents, that she KNEW difficult child has problems beyond his control, she KNEW his medications wear off at night, and SHE is the ADULT and should be in CONTROL of her emotions when she is supposed to be caring for a child who is NOT in control of his. I will never, ever entrust the care of my children to her again. You can bet difficult child senses the tension. And you're right, it's lousy when good times are spoiled by people who just can't cope with a situation. They are better off staying away or keeping visits short. [/QUOTE]
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