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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 414329"><p>No one here can know your entire situation. Chances are very high that you did the best you could all along. That statement...the best I could at the time, applies!</p><p>Sure, in retrospect, you recall times you wish you did things differently. No one is perfect. No one has a crystal ball. Few, and I'm not sure anyone, has difficult child parenting experience. This comes as a bomb shell to us parents. I always recommend, if at all possible financially and otherwise, to make the offer of counseling for your difficult child. This is especially important if you feel that you missed the mark along the way. Life can have bumps in the road for us parents. Divorce, inexperience, illness...etc. Perhaps there were times that were bumpier than others. We can always apologize to our difficult children for the times that we struggled and offer counseling. However, I think it is important to hold your head up high and make it clear that you tried your very best and do not assume responsibility for this. It's a fine line and one a difficult child is likely to step all over. For difficult children over 18, it is their responsibility to live life in a healthy manner. No matter what you did or did not do (and again, chances are you did not do ANYTHING) it is up to them to make a choice to live life respecfully and to push forward like everyone else. There is NO guilt here. But if you want to ease any remnants of concern, offer to pay for counseling for your difficult child as best as you are able. Tell him or her that you love them and want them to enjoy life in a healthy way and then set the example yourself by moving forward yourself. Do not fall into the guilt trap. You didn't cause this and you can't cure it. If your difficult child wants help, you can provide a little bit of an assist by paying for counseling and setting an example. That's about it. It's in difficult children hands now. I agree....be at peace with yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 414329"] No one here can know your entire situation. Chances are very high that you did the best you could all along. That statement...the best I could at the time, applies! Sure, in retrospect, you recall times you wish you did things differently. No one is perfect. No one has a crystal ball. Few, and I'm not sure anyone, has difficult child parenting experience. This comes as a bomb shell to us parents. I always recommend, if at all possible financially and otherwise, to make the offer of counseling for your difficult child. This is especially important if you feel that you missed the mark along the way. Life can have bumps in the road for us parents. Divorce, inexperience, illness...etc. Perhaps there were times that were bumpier than others. We can always apologize to our difficult children for the times that we struggled and offer counseling. However, I think it is important to hold your head up high and make it clear that you tried your very best and do not assume responsibility for this. It's a fine line and one a difficult child is likely to step all over. For difficult children over 18, it is their responsibility to live life in a healthy manner. No matter what you did or did not do (and again, chances are you did not do ANYTHING) it is up to them to make a choice to live life respecfully and to push forward like everyone else. There is NO guilt here. But if you want to ease any remnants of concern, offer to pay for counseling for your difficult child as best as you are able. Tell him or her that you love them and want them to enjoy life in a healthy way and then set the example yourself by moving forward yourself. Do not fall into the guilt trap. You didn't cause this and you can't cure it. If your difficult child wants help, you can provide a little bit of an assist by paying for counseling and setting an example. That's about it. It's in difficult children hands now. I agree....be at peace with yourself. [/QUOTE]
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