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Guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 414692" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>BLAMERS - </p><p> </p><p>READ THIS - It's a little less complicated than I wrote - and read it all. </p><p> </p><p>Here - read this - <a href="http://www.life-with-confidence.com/deal-with-feeling-guilty.html" target="_blank">http://www.life-with-confidence.com/deal-with-feeling-guilty.html</a></p><p> </p><p>Every day we tell our kids - "Oh honey you have a choice - good or bad behavior." Uh huh....So do you with your guilt. My thoughts on going to therapy and ridding myself of negative, guilt-ridden feelings were this. It would be a lot easier for my children to see me as a positive person telling him he has choices in life smiling, happy, and cheerful. Trying to telling him from a dark room, frowning, crying, angry through tears that he should be happy and make better choices while I was an emotional wreck didn't seem to me that it would be such a great example for him. It did not send a message of strength, positivity nor did it say no matter what life hands you - you do the best you can and overcome any obstacle. </p><p> </p><p>True, I had days where I was sad, cried, got angry, was depressed, but how my son saw me deal with those times is largely a reflection of how he would handle those exact same moments as he grew to be an adult. NOT how he would handle them as a child - because he didn't have the same coping skills at that time, but hopefully as he grows older - what he saw as a child he'd remember. I wanted those memories to be as positive as they could be. You can't fake guilt maked with a smile - you've either dealt with it or you haven't, because those feelings will come out somewhere. And somewhere? Where is that? Taking up time that you COULD be having fun - if you had only dealt with guilt and let it go. </p><p></p><p>Personally? I'm a once and done kinda person - I like having time for fun things - and the times that guilt took from me? It doesn't get any more. Because those times were my sons young childhood, and I can't get those days back - but I can have his future, and I do - and I'm enjoying what I can, detaching from what I don't have - and doing the best I can every day to live life without regrets. I wish those same minutes for all of you who are hurting. I really, really do. Guilt is an anchor you'd be a lot better off draging around - kinda like Jacob Marleys chain links. I'd way rather be Ebenezer Scrooge after the ghosts of Christmas past visit..and live every day as best I can. </p><p> </p><p>Hope this makes sense to someone. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 414692, member: 4964"] BLAMERS - READ THIS - It's a little less complicated than I wrote - and read it all. Here - read this - [URL]http://www.life-with-confidence.com/deal-with-feeling-guilty.html[/URL] Every day we tell our kids - "Oh honey you have a choice - good or bad behavior." Uh huh....So do you with your guilt. My thoughts on going to therapy and ridding myself of negative, guilt-ridden feelings were this. It would be a lot easier for my children to see me as a positive person telling him he has choices in life smiling, happy, and cheerful. Trying to telling him from a dark room, frowning, crying, angry through tears that he should be happy and make better choices while I was an emotional wreck didn't seem to me that it would be such a great example for him. It did not send a message of strength, positivity nor did it say no matter what life hands you - you do the best you can and overcome any obstacle. True, I had days where I was sad, cried, got angry, was depressed, but how my son saw me deal with those times is largely a reflection of how he would handle those exact same moments as he grew to be an adult. NOT how he would handle them as a child - because he didn't have the same coping skills at that time, but hopefully as he grows older - what he saw as a child he'd remember. I wanted those memories to be as positive as they could be. You can't fake guilt maked with a smile - you've either dealt with it or you haven't, because those feelings will come out somewhere. And somewhere? Where is that? Taking up time that you COULD be having fun - if you had only dealt with guilt and let it go. Personally? I'm a once and done kinda person - I like having time for fun things - and the times that guilt took from me? It doesn't get any more. Because those times were my sons young childhood, and I can't get those days back - but I can have his future, and I do - and I'm enjoying what I can, detaching from what I don't have - and doing the best I can every day to live life without regrets. I wish those same minutes for all of you who are hurting. I really, really do. Guilt is an anchor you'd be a lot better off draging around - kinda like Jacob Marleys chain links. I'd way rather be Ebenezer Scrooge after the ghosts of Christmas past visit..and live every day as best I can. Hope this makes sense to someone. Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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