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The Watercooler
H & his sobriety
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 111242" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>I respectfully disagree with busywend. This has nothing to do with gender.</p><p></p><p>The man is on a dry drunk. Your brother hit the nail on the head.</p><p></p><p>OK, you have an alcoholic. The alcoholic has issues, and drinking is a symptom of those issues. If you take away the drink, all you have left is a person who still has issues. </p><p></p><p>When he drank, the alcohol helped him cope. That is why he did not go on tangents about Delaware. You take away the alcohol, you have to fill it with something. That is where AA comes in.</p><p></p><p>AA helps you deal with life on life's terms. IT is not only a social outlet, it helps you so that you can go be in OTHER social situations without feeling vulnerable. Alcohol is not going to disappear off the face of the earth. It is going to be everywhere you go. AA helps you to cope with day to day run-ins with alcohol or people who drink without feeling like you have to as well.</p><p></p><p>He can hold this dry drunk together for a month or a year or 2 years, but eventually he will drink again if he does not get into AA. When I first got clean (20 years ago) I stayed clean for five years with no program. I did not think I needed it. And then I went back out for 10.</p><p></p><p>Guess what? I needed it.</p><p></p><p>The thing is, you will never convince him that he needs it. He has to want it. But I would strongly STRONGLY urge you to hit an Al-Anon meeting. He does not have to work a program for you to.</p><p></p><p>((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 111242, member: 3647"] I respectfully disagree with busywend. This has nothing to do with gender. The man is on a dry drunk. Your brother hit the nail on the head. OK, you have an alcoholic. The alcoholic has issues, and drinking is a symptom of those issues. If you take away the drink, all you have left is a person who still has issues. When he drank, the alcohol helped him cope. That is why he did not go on tangents about Delaware. You take away the alcohol, you have to fill it with something. That is where AA comes in. AA helps you deal with life on life's terms. IT is not only a social outlet, it helps you so that you can go be in OTHER social situations without feeling vulnerable. Alcohol is not going to disappear off the face of the earth. It is going to be everywhere you go. AA helps you to cope with day to day run-ins with alcohol or people who drink without feeling like you have to as well. He can hold this dry drunk together for a month or a year or 2 years, but eventually he will drink again if he does not get into AA. When I first got clean (20 years ago) I stayed clean for five years with no program. I did not think I needed it. And then I went back out for 10. Guess what? I needed it. The thing is, you will never convince him that he needs it. He has to want it. But I would strongly STRONGLY urge you to hit an Al-Anon meeting. He does not have to work a program for you to. ((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))) [/QUOTE]
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