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H, mother in law, Step One down
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 463134" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 12px">Ownership of the home still needs to be processed through probate court and I believe that is in motion now. It is a waiting game. The "plan" is that once the house is in mother in law's name, she will quit claim it to us and then we simply remortgage it, pay off the existing mortgage (the one in father in law's name) and the house is ours free and clear. However, I also do not anticipate it going that smoothly and wonder if once the house is in her name, she won't pull any monkey business. If she does, I'm walking. I've had enough.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 12px">sister in law does not want her mother living with her, I know that for certain. My brother in law in Pittsburgh, however, really really wants mother in law to live near him. Problem is, mother in law wants to live near H. The reason is simple, H never tells her no and never argues with her about anything. She loves his complacency where she is concerned (he has no problem telling me no, lol). However, brother in law and sister in law both will tell mother in law no and both will argue with her. She can boss H around in a motherly way which comes across as innocuous to H, but overt to me! </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 12px">Like I said, Step One was having this initial conversation about his mother's future living arrangements. The next step is letting her know she's not moving in with us, do NOT sell her house yet, and perhaps begin looking at places for her...we also need to get her to warm up to the idea of a place, just not our place. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 12px">She really cannot commit to anything until all the financials and probates are completed, so I'm thinking at least 6 months. In the meantime, we can look at places, choose the top three. brother in law has two in mind near him and is going to invite her to visit him in October for a couple of weeks. At that time, he will bring her round to see them. Oh, and, I do have brother in law's full 100% back up on this. He told me so in an email that he backs me all the way! I think H was annoyed I involved his siblings, but tough teabags - she's their mom too. They should be a part of the decision making. I held firm on my end, not it's their turn to hold firm on theirs. I went through all this with my own mom, I know it's difficult and heart breaking, you feel like you're tossing them to the streets. But there are ways of making these decisions lovingly and with the best interests of your parents at heart. And that's where I intend to keep the focus: What's best for mother in law? Where will she be safest and happiest? Which facility has the best amenities, etc...</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 12px">Thanks for asking DDD! And thanks for the support!</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 463134, member: 2211"] [COLOR=#008080][SIZE=3]Ownership of the home still needs to be processed through probate court and I believe that is in motion now. It is a waiting game. The "plan" is that once the house is in mother in law's name, she will quit claim it to us and then we simply remortgage it, pay off the existing mortgage (the one in father in law's name) and the house is ours free and clear. However, I also do not anticipate it going that smoothly and wonder if once the house is in her name, she won't pull any monkey business. If she does, I'm walking. I've had enough. sister in law does not want her mother living with her, I know that for certain. My brother in law in Pittsburgh, however, really really wants mother in law to live near him. Problem is, mother in law wants to live near H. The reason is simple, H never tells her no and never argues with her about anything. She loves his complacency where she is concerned (he has no problem telling me no, lol). However, brother in law and sister in law both will tell mother in law no and both will argue with her. She can boss H around in a motherly way which comes across as innocuous to H, but overt to me! Like I said, Step One was having this initial conversation about his mother's future living arrangements. The next step is letting her know she's not moving in with us, do NOT sell her house yet, and perhaps begin looking at places for her...we also need to get her to warm up to the idea of a place, just not our place. She really cannot commit to anything until all the financials and probates are completed, so I'm thinking at least 6 months. In the meantime, we can look at places, choose the top three. brother in law has two in mind near him and is going to invite her to visit him in October for a couple of weeks. At that time, he will bring her round to see them. Oh, and, I do have brother in law's full 100% back up on this. He told me so in an email that he backs me all the way! I think H was annoyed I involved his siblings, but tough teabags - she's their mom too. They should be a part of the decision making. I held firm on my end, not it's their turn to hold firm on theirs. I went through all this with my own mom, I know it's difficult and heart breaking, you feel like you're tossing them to the streets. But there are ways of making these decisions lovingly and with the best interests of your parents at heart. And that's where I intend to keep the focus: What's best for mother in law? Where will she be safest and happiest? Which facility has the best amenities, etc... Thanks for asking DDD! And thanks for the support![/SIZE][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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