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<blockquote data-quote="mom_to_3" data-source="post: 198535" data-attributes="member: 30"><p>Wow. What a mess and a painful one at that. I don't know that I could ever get over not having a relationship with my parents and then having lies being told by my siblings and children to me and about me. </p><p></p><p>I think I "hear" that you really do want a relationship with your family understandably. But how does one exactly have that relationship with all that has gone on? I have a feeling that everyone feels pretty justified in their actions or they would not have continued. I try to do the right thing, but I think I would have to work very, very hard to forgive really the unforgivable. </p><p></p><p>At first I was going to suggest that you write a letter to your parents trying to mend the bridge and leave your sister and daughter out of it. But it sounds as if your father is very closed minded and has his beliefs for whatever reason. I think this is so sad and really, everyone loses. I think I would still write that letter, express your feelings for them and your wish for a relationship if that is what you want and tell them that you welcome contact and that you'll wait for them. Then the ball is in their court and you'll really know what their intentions are with no intervention from your sister or daughter.</p><p></p><p>This would be difficult for me to do, but I think it would be best to just lay it all out on the table to deal with it which ever way it goes and hopefully be done with it. That way your sister, nor your daughter can yank you around about this matter ever again.</p><p></p><p>I really am sorry for you. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_to_3, post: 198535, member: 30"] Wow. What a mess and a painful one at that. I don't know that I could ever get over not having a relationship with my parents and then having lies being told by my siblings and children to me and about me. I think I "hear" that you really do want a relationship with your family understandably. But how does one exactly have that relationship with all that has gone on? I have a feeling that everyone feels pretty justified in their actions or they would not have continued. I try to do the right thing, but I think I would have to work very, very hard to forgive really the unforgivable. At first I was going to suggest that you write a letter to your parents trying to mend the bridge and leave your sister and daughter out of it. But it sounds as if your father is very closed minded and has his beliefs for whatever reason. I think this is so sad and really, everyone loses. I think I would still write that letter, express your feelings for them and your wish for a relationship if that is what you want and tell them that you welcome contact and that you'll wait for them. Then the ball is in their court and you'll really know what their intentions are with no intervention from your sister or daughter. This would be difficult for me to do, but I think it would be best to just lay it all out on the table to deal with it which ever way it goes and hopefully be done with it. That way your sister, nor your daughter can yank you around about this matter ever again. I really am sorry for you. :( [/QUOTE]
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