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had to get a restraining order
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<blockquote data-quote="helpme" data-source="post: 341937" data-attributes="member: 8202"><p>Oh my! My heart aches for you.</p><p>I'm so glad a judge issued it for you like this.</p><p>I wasn't so lucky and had a long battle.</p><p></p><p>Also, for other reading this article. It is sometimes</p><p>very hard to get the defendant to get served.</p><p>Give all information you possible can to make sure</p><p>your harasser get's served WHEN you apply or are</p><p>dealing with the police to help get the notice served.</p><p>Ie: He walks over to the X gas station around five every</p><p>day to get a pack of cigarettes, His best friend lives..</p><p>He hangs out at this bar, His girlfriends works at X from</p><p>X to Y, etcetera. My state will use this information</p><p>and usually is appreciative they aren't sitting outside</p><p>some house waiting on someone who isn't there.</p><p></p><p>The worst situation to end up in is with a request for </p><p>an OP/RO and not have the person served with it.</p><p>Trust me, criminals will do all sorts of things not to get</p><p>served. My ex told me that he had him already packed</p><p>and on a "airplane". Ex wasn't fast enough cause the</p><p>kid go in other trouble before he got to the airport.</p><p></p><p>I know you love your son. There are so many long</p><p>term consequences for ever being ordered an OP or RO.</p><p>Personally, I was talked into the civil no contact order</p><p>to start. Be careful there, because if you accept that,</p><p>then your RO request tomorrow would be released </p><p>most probably with PREJUDICE against you. You will</p><p>also not be able to have your son arrested if he hurts you</p><p>or your property in the future. You should</p><p>definately talk to a lawyer or court representative if</p><p>anyone even starts with civil proceedings (no contact)</p><p>rather than criminal (RO/PO). Each state handles these</p><p>issues entirely different than the next. But a civil order</p><p>will protect you to receive damages (financially) from your</p><p>son. The RO will affect him for the rest of his life.</p><p></p><p>My first request would be for "remedies" (attempts to solve</p><p>your son's problems), such as medication and counseling.</p><p>Now is your chance to receive any state funding for drug</p><p>testing, anger management, etcetera. Ask for all the help</p><p>you can get, it can't hurt to ask.</p><p></p><p>I also used time as a factor, since my son was a minor, and</p><p>I knew all of his issues would be sealed at my state's legal</p><p>age of 18, praying he would stop and that the ordeal would</p><p>not be on his record for life. True, after looking back, I</p><p>am so grateful I also ended up protecting a few of his </p><p>girlfriends due to the OP that I had issued.</p><p></p><p>But for you, maybe ask for remedies and an "interim" RO,</p><p>that goes until a certain date, which later can be sorta dismissed</p><p>in the end. True, it still hits is record for life, but any future </p><p>charges won't be "magnified" as my state calls them. </p><p></p><p>If you are asking for a "plenary"/permanent RO, I advise you</p><p>to find someone or some support group. The emotional roller</p><p>coaster is exhausting as well as the social/public/family</p><p>inflictions.</p><p></p><p>Also, make sure you have all vehicle plate numbers and so forth</p><p>that you drive. Add the neighbor's car if you sometimes borrow</p><p>it. In regards to your schedule, if you work out every Tuesday</p><p>night at a gym, make sure you add that information to your</p><p>request. Sometimes we ran into trouble if the girls and I were</p><p>at a town carnival and son was also there. The police would</p><p>tell us that son hadn't done anything YET, and that the</p><p>place we were at (a church) was not included in the OP.</p><p>Add churches, laundromats, etc, if at all possible. Also,</p><p>If you ever need to stay at your parents, make sure you add</p><p>that in the paperwork somehow. Think of how you want</p><p>the RO to actually protect you and find someway to get that</p><p>information into the request paperwork.</p><p></p><p>Also, if your child has or has been around firearms, make sure</p><p>you personally follow up with your state to make sure</p><p>all firearm cards and licenses are revoked. Also, it is very</p><p>difficult to get a firearms card if you have an order you are</p><p>convicted of, in comparison to a case that eventually is</p><p>dismissed. </p><p></p><p>Most states have the paperwork on line. Have </p><p>friends and family look over the paperwork to make sure</p><p>you haven't missed anything. My state also did a good job </p><p>each and every time of notifying the girls school within 2</p><p>days of a court order. Some states seem to forget they</p><p>are responsible for notifying schools and daycare. I know</p><p>your kids are older and everything, but maybe this post</p><p>will help others here as well.</p><p></p><p>Get educated. Arrive early to see how the judge acts for</p><p>other cases. And please, please remember that everyone here</p><p>is wishing the best for you and your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpme, post: 341937, member: 8202"] Oh my! My heart aches for you. I'm so glad a judge issued it for you like this. I wasn't so lucky and had a long battle. Also, for other reading this article. It is sometimes very hard to get the defendant to get served. Give all information you possible can to make sure your harasser get's served WHEN you apply or are dealing with the police to help get the notice served. Ie: He walks over to the X gas station around five every day to get a pack of cigarettes, His best friend lives.. He hangs out at this bar, His girlfriends works at X from X to Y, etcetera. My state will use this information and usually is appreciative they aren't sitting outside some house waiting on someone who isn't there. The worst situation to end up in is with a request for an OP/RO and not have the person served with it. Trust me, criminals will do all sorts of things not to get served. My ex told me that he had him already packed and on a "airplane". Ex wasn't fast enough cause the kid go in other trouble before he got to the airport. I know you love your son. There are so many long term consequences for ever being ordered an OP or RO. Personally, I was talked into the civil no contact order to start. Be careful there, because if you accept that, then your RO request tomorrow would be released most probably with PREJUDICE against you. You will also not be able to have your son arrested if he hurts you or your property in the future. You should definately talk to a lawyer or court representative if anyone even starts with civil proceedings (no contact) rather than criminal (RO/PO). Each state handles these issues entirely different than the next. But a civil order will protect you to receive damages (financially) from your son. The RO will affect him for the rest of his life. My first request would be for "remedies" (attempts to solve your son's problems), such as medication and counseling. Now is your chance to receive any state funding for drug testing, anger management, etcetera. Ask for all the help you can get, it can't hurt to ask. I also used time as a factor, since my son was a minor, and I knew all of his issues would be sealed at my state's legal age of 18, praying he would stop and that the ordeal would not be on his record for life. True, after looking back, I am so grateful I also ended up protecting a few of his girlfriends due to the OP that I had issued. But for you, maybe ask for remedies and an "interim" RO, that goes until a certain date, which later can be sorta dismissed in the end. True, it still hits is record for life, but any future charges won't be "magnified" as my state calls them. If you are asking for a "plenary"/permanent RO, I advise you to find someone or some support group. The emotional roller coaster is exhausting as well as the social/public/family inflictions. Also, make sure you have all vehicle plate numbers and so forth that you drive. Add the neighbor's car if you sometimes borrow it. In regards to your schedule, if you work out every Tuesday night at a gym, make sure you add that information to your request. Sometimes we ran into trouble if the girls and I were at a town carnival and son was also there. The police would tell us that son hadn't done anything YET, and that the place we were at (a church) was not included in the OP. Add churches, laundromats, etc, if at all possible. Also, If you ever need to stay at your parents, make sure you add that in the paperwork somehow. Think of how you want the RO to actually protect you and find someway to get that information into the request paperwork. Also, if your child has or has been around firearms, make sure you personally follow up with your state to make sure all firearm cards and licenses are revoked. Also, it is very difficult to get a firearms card if you have an order you are convicted of, in comparison to a case that eventually is dismissed. Most states have the paperwork on line. Have friends and family look over the paperwork to make sure you haven't missed anything. My state also did a good job each and every time of notifying the girls school within 2 days of a court order. Some states seem to forget they are responsible for notifying schools and daycare. I know your kids are older and everything, but maybe this post will help others here as well. Get educated. Arrive early to see how the judge acts for other cases. And please, please remember that everyone here is wishing the best for you and your family. [/QUOTE]
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