T
TeDo
Guest
and now I feel bad.
His Boy Scout troop has activities every month, sometimes twice a month. Things like going to a monster truck show in a big city 2 hours away, "killer" gocarts that go super fast around an indoor track, hiking and climbing in mountains 3 states away, etc. There are some other things like camping many times, community service projects, overnight activities, etc. difficult child 1 wants to do them ALL and gets it in his head that he's going an that's all he talks about until it happens. He knows these events cost money and he knows we don't have much. I don't hide that fact from my kids. They know we just can't afford everything they want.
Anyway, leader called me yesterday to tell me the "killer" gocarts trip (which I knew I couldn't afford and I knew difficult child 1 isn't tall enough) was rescheduled for today. I didn't say anything to difficult child 1 because I didn't want to hear the complaining all night and all day today.
A friend of his called this morning and while they were talking mentioned the trip being today. difficult child 1 went ballistic because "Why didn't you tell me? You knew I wanted to go!" I told him I didn't tell him because I didn't want to have to deal with exactly this any longer than I had to. I also told him there was no way he was going anyway (which I've said before) because I don't have $70 and he's too short anyway. He stormed up the steps (YEAH!! progress) yelling "You're the worst parent ever! You're so poor because you can't find a stupid job!" and on and on.
I walked away AFTER I said "I don't have a job and can't even look for one because I'm scared to death to leave you alone with difficult child 2. I'm scared to death that I would come home and find you've killed him and then I wouldn't have either of you. As often as you say you want to kill him over stupid little things, I am scared to death that some day you just might do it. I would love to have a job and be around other people but I can't because I don't trust you."
He got absolutely quiet and came downstairs a few minutes later and apologized for what he said and through tears said "I just really wanted to go". I told him I knew that's why he said those mean things and that I wanted him to go to but that there are a lot of things I want to do but can't. They do this trip every year so he can probably go next year. That made him happy as a clam.
But....now I feel bad for putting that "burden" on him on top of everything else. That is the reality but it's not fair to put the burden of ALL this on his shoulders. He feels bad enough about himself the way it is, I don't want him to feel personally responsible for our financial situation, truth or not.
Thanks for letting me vent. Pity party over now. LOL
His Boy Scout troop has activities every month, sometimes twice a month. Things like going to a monster truck show in a big city 2 hours away, "killer" gocarts that go super fast around an indoor track, hiking and climbing in mountains 3 states away, etc. There are some other things like camping many times, community service projects, overnight activities, etc. difficult child 1 wants to do them ALL and gets it in his head that he's going an that's all he talks about until it happens. He knows these events cost money and he knows we don't have much. I don't hide that fact from my kids. They know we just can't afford everything they want.
Anyway, leader called me yesterday to tell me the "killer" gocarts trip (which I knew I couldn't afford and I knew difficult child 1 isn't tall enough) was rescheduled for today. I didn't say anything to difficult child 1 because I didn't want to hear the complaining all night and all day today.
A friend of his called this morning and while they were talking mentioned the trip being today. difficult child 1 went ballistic because "Why didn't you tell me? You knew I wanted to go!" I told him I didn't tell him because I didn't want to have to deal with exactly this any longer than I had to. I also told him there was no way he was going anyway (which I've said before) because I don't have $70 and he's too short anyway. He stormed up the steps (YEAH!! progress) yelling "You're the worst parent ever! You're so poor because you can't find a stupid job!" and on and on.
I walked away AFTER I said "I don't have a job and can't even look for one because I'm scared to death to leave you alone with difficult child 2. I'm scared to death that I would come home and find you've killed him and then I wouldn't have either of you. As often as you say you want to kill him over stupid little things, I am scared to death that some day you just might do it. I would love to have a job and be around other people but I can't because I don't trust you."
He got absolutely quiet and came downstairs a few minutes later and apologized for what he said and through tears said "I just really wanted to go". I told him I knew that's why he said those mean things and that I wanted him to go to but that there are a lot of things I want to do but can't. They do this trip every year so he can probably go next year. That made him happy as a clam.
But....now I feel bad for putting that "burden" on him on top of everything else. That is the reality but it's not fair to put the burden of ALL this on his shoulders. He feels bad enough about himself the way it is, I don't want him to feel personally responsible for our financial situation, truth or not.
Thanks for letting me vent. Pity party over now. LOL