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Had to tell him I will call the police
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 516483" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>If you prepare the police, you will have a far better chance of getting an officer who is prepared and trained to handle the complexities of a violent child with a developmental problem/mental illness. It is a way to make sure that you get the best possible response from the police. Make sure you tell them that he is violent and getting more violent with you. It is IMPORTANT that he learns that he can't do this because it won't be much longer before he seriously hurts you. My son was 12 when he caused permanent nerve damage in my left hand during a rage. Often our kids are far stronger than we would expect and they can do SERIOUS damage to us. What happens when he knocks you unconscious? I can promise it is NOT GOOD. </p><p></p><p>At some point he is going to go after his sister. You may have to call CPS when that happens and report that he is abusing her. This will be needed if you are to get ANY help for her - medical help for injuries, therapy for being abused by her brother, even therapy to cope with seeing him abuse you COULD be considered to be endangering her. Make a written plan for what she is to do when he hits you, when he tries to hurt her, etc.... Call it a safety plan and include when she is to call 911 or a family member for help, and post it on the wall where she can see it.</p><p></p><p>This will HELP when CPS gets involved.</p><p></p><p>You also MUST do what is needed to make sure that difficult child learns he cannot hit people, not even you, because sooner or later he will hit someone out of the house/family. Then the police probably will be involved and charges could be pressed. You will have some liability because he is a minor, and that won't be a lot of fun. So if the police get to know the situation NOW, before charges are pressed, they can try to stop the violence.</p><p></p><p>I also strongly urge you to make an intake appointment with a domestic violence center. difficult child is responding to upset/frustration with violence and even though it is child on parent it is still DV. There is HELP out there and a good DV center can set you up with therapy to help you not feel so impotent and to help him learn better ways to handle his aggression and frustration. </p><p></p><p>Has the violence gotten worse on the vyvanse? Stims can do that sometimes. Is the abilify stopping someo f the aggression? Have you tried seroquel or risperdal (risperidone)? They are not for everyone, but they can be helfpul with aggression. Risperdal was a godsend for Wiz. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, you have my empathy and support. I know how hard this is, but you NEED to stop the violence and at this point the cops NEED to be involved. I am so sorry about that. I am warning you of CPS involvement based on personal experience.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 516483, member: 1233"] If you prepare the police, you will have a far better chance of getting an officer who is prepared and trained to handle the complexities of a violent child with a developmental problem/mental illness. It is a way to make sure that you get the best possible response from the police. Make sure you tell them that he is violent and getting more violent with you. It is IMPORTANT that he learns that he can't do this because it won't be much longer before he seriously hurts you. My son was 12 when he caused permanent nerve damage in my left hand during a rage. Often our kids are far stronger than we would expect and they can do SERIOUS damage to us. What happens when he knocks you unconscious? I can promise it is NOT GOOD. At some point he is going to go after his sister. You may have to call CPS when that happens and report that he is abusing her. This will be needed if you are to get ANY help for her - medical help for injuries, therapy for being abused by her brother, even therapy to cope with seeing him abuse you COULD be considered to be endangering her. Make a written plan for what she is to do when he hits you, when he tries to hurt her, etc.... Call it a safety plan and include when she is to call 911 or a family member for help, and post it on the wall where she can see it. This will HELP when CPS gets involved. You also MUST do what is needed to make sure that difficult child learns he cannot hit people, not even you, because sooner or later he will hit someone out of the house/family. Then the police probably will be involved and charges could be pressed. You will have some liability because he is a minor, and that won't be a lot of fun. So if the police get to know the situation NOW, before charges are pressed, they can try to stop the violence. I also strongly urge you to make an intake appointment with a domestic violence center. difficult child is responding to upset/frustration with violence and even though it is child on parent it is still DV. There is HELP out there and a good DV center can set you up with therapy to help you not feel so impotent and to help him learn better ways to handle his aggression and frustration. Has the violence gotten worse on the vyvanse? Stims can do that sometimes. Is the abilify stopping someo f the aggression? Have you tried seroquel or risperdal (risperidone)? They are not for everyone, but they can be helfpul with aggression. Risperdal was a godsend for Wiz. Anyway, you have my empathy and support. I know how hard this is, but you NEED to stop the violence and at this point the cops NEED to be involved. I am so sorry about that. I am warning you of CPS involvement based on personal experience. [/QUOTE]
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