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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 15532" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Oh, Isabel, I am so sorry.</p><p>IF (and it's still an "if" right?) he's schizophrenic, it's not something you did during pregnancy, from what I understand. It's a trait (or perhaps gene) that goes deeper than just one pregnancy. Even though you have no family history of it, you don't know if anyone in the past isn't spoken of (we have a couple of people I found out about after I was married!).</p><p></p><p>I beat myself up all the time for things I did or may have done when my difficult child was younger. I was an idiot. Who knows when Tough Love is right or when understanding and patience, and ignoring the tantrum are the right thing to do?</p><p>But two things I did were to apologize and tell him I loved him (after a screaming match), and keep trying. (Obviously, or I wouldn't be on this bb.)</p><p></p><p>No matter what, it's clear that you love him. I hope he knows that. I wish I had a magic wand to wave over all of you.</p><p></p><p>And I know you want to protect him after you're gone. It's a form of self preservation, in a sense, you know?</p><p></p><p>Allow yourself to worry and fret for a day or two. It's a form of loss. It's legitimate.</p><p>Then make it a point to move on. Easier said than done, I know. </p><p>{{{Cyberhugs.}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 15532, member: 3419"] Oh, Isabel, I am so sorry. IF (and it's still an "if" right?) he's schizophrenic, it's not something you did during pregnancy, from what I understand. It's a trait (or perhaps gene) that goes deeper than just one pregnancy. Even though you have no family history of it, you don't know if anyone in the past isn't spoken of (we have a couple of people I found out about after I was married!). I beat myself up all the time for things I did or may have done when my difficult child was younger. I was an idiot. Who knows when Tough Love is right or when understanding and patience, and ignoring the tantrum are the right thing to do? But two things I did were to apologize and tell him I loved him (after a screaming match), and keep trying. (Obviously, or I wouldn't be on this bb.) No matter what, it's clear that you love him. I hope he knows that. I wish I had a magic wand to wave over all of you. And I know you want to protect him after you're gone. It's a form of self preservation, in a sense, you know? Allow yourself to worry and fret for a day or two. It's a form of loss. It's legitimate. Then make it a point to move on. Easier said than done, I know. {{{Cyberhugs.}}} [/QUOTE]
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