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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 401691" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry it is so terribly hard. You feel so cut off from the world, I know. Andy has excellent points about dependence, responsibility and our own very limited power and how hard it is to accept this.</p><p> </p><p>What did the ER docs say? Did you go? you usually follow up on threads but you didn't on the one about you. That is SO typical of us Warrior Moms!! We have a terribly hard time accepting that WE need help too, not just our kids. It really IS needed for you to go get checked out, regardless of how much it costs. GO TO THE DOCTOR.</p><p> </p><p>My post wasn't as nice as it should have been on that thread, and I am sorry. I am really really scared that you are going to have a major medical crisis of YOUR OWN where your body just has had enough and cannot cope with the stress and then refuses to work again. It is possible. Dealing with difficult children can be that hard. Star worried and worked herself into a stroke at a very young age. Timer Lady's body just shut down totally on so many fronts, my body is now one big ball of unending pain that the docs can get from a 10 down to a 7 or 8 most days and on a truly exceptional day it is at a 5. 5 days are extremely rare. That is a pain rating with 10 being the worst you ahve ever had - and I am frequently flabbergasted at how bad a 10 can be. What I thought was a 10 even 5 yrs ago is a 7 now, and what I thought was a 10 a decade ago I would KILL to have back again.</p><p> </p><p>Getting help is the key to NOT having this happen, or slowing it down a lot if it is happening. You are not going to make it through this month with-o help for yourself and we are scared for you. </p><p> </p><p>But I know you are scared too. On every front - for your daughter, for your sanity, for your health, for your finances, etc... I also wish I could give you a big hug. </p><p> </p><p>I don't know what your religious beliefs are, and it isn't any of my business. At some point you are going to need to recognize that you are desperately and frantically trying to control the uncontrollable. You want to control everything so that your daughter doesn't get worse in any way, so that your life will finally do what you want it to. One of the most destressing things is when you realize you cannot control anything but YOUR actions and you turn the rest over to whatever you believe is a higher power. Maybe while you are in the chapel you can think on this. I am NOT trying to shove religion onto you, or to tell you what to do (except for going to the doctor), just making a suggestion.</p><p> </p><p>You and difficult child are not in a healthy pattern. I hope the therapist can help you see this, and help you fight to establish some healthy boundaries for yourself so that you and difficult child are not so dependent on each other. I hate to see how this is hurting you. </p><p> </p><p>You will take these steps when you are ready, and if I sound impatient with you I am so sorry. It isn't what I mean to communicate. We are all terribly worried about you. If you neglect your health much longer you are going to be forced into letting go of a lot of control by your body because it won't be able to handle the pressure much longer. Please please please please see the doctors. It will help your daughter if you do. In the long run it will be a good thing. </p><p> </p><p>Many many hugs, and I am with you in spirit having tea while you have coffee, telling you funny things that I saw on the web, and doing whatever I can to help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 401691, member: 1233"] I am sorry it is so terribly hard. You feel so cut off from the world, I know. Andy has excellent points about dependence, responsibility and our own very limited power and how hard it is to accept this. What did the ER docs say? Did you go? you usually follow up on threads but you didn't on the one about you. That is SO typical of us Warrior Moms!! We have a terribly hard time accepting that WE need help too, not just our kids. It really IS needed for you to go get checked out, regardless of how much it costs. GO TO THE DOCTOR. My post wasn't as nice as it should have been on that thread, and I am sorry. I am really really scared that you are going to have a major medical crisis of YOUR OWN where your body just has had enough and cannot cope with the stress and then refuses to work again. It is possible. Dealing with difficult children can be that hard. Star worried and worked herself into a stroke at a very young age. Timer Lady's body just shut down totally on so many fronts, my body is now one big ball of unending pain that the docs can get from a 10 down to a 7 or 8 most days and on a truly exceptional day it is at a 5. 5 days are extremely rare. That is a pain rating with 10 being the worst you ahve ever had - and I am frequently flabbergasted at how bad a 10 can be. What I thought was a 10 even 5 yrs ago is a 7 now, and what I thought was a 10 a decade ago I would KILL to have back again. Getting help is the key to NOT having this happen, or slowing it down a lot if it is happening. You are not going to make it through this month with-o help for yourself and we are scared for you. But I know you are scared too. On every front - for your daughter, for your sanity, for your health, for your finances, etc... I also wish I could give you a big hug. I don't know what your religious beliefs are, and it isn't any of my business. At some point you are going to need to recognize that you are desperately and frantically trying to control the uncontrollable. You want to control everything so that your daughter doesn't get worse in any way, so that your life will finally do what you want it to. One of the most destressing things is when you realize you cannot control anything but YOUR actions and you turn the rest over to whatever you believe is a higher power. Maybe while you are in the chapel you can think on this. I am NOT trying to shove religion onto you, or to tell you what to do (except for going to the doctor), just making a suggestion. You and difficult child are not in a healthy pattern. I hope the therapist can help you see this, and help you fight to establish some healthy boundaries for yourself so that you and difficult child are not so dependent on each other. I hate to see how this is hurting you. You will take these steps when you are ready, and if I sound impatient with you I am so sorry. It isn't what I mean to communicate. We are all terribly worried about you. If you neglect your health much longer you are going to be forced into letting go of a lot of control by your body because it won't be able to handle the pressure much longer. Please please please please see the doctors. It will help your daughter if you do. In the long run it will be a good thing. Many many hugs, and I am with you in spirit having tea while you have coffee, telling you funny things that I saw on the web, and doing whatever I can to help. [/QUOTE]
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