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Hard times.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 737132" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My heartbreak is for me. But I am still so wanting that he change and be safe. That he live. </p><p></p><p>I know I have no control. How many times have I posted to others that we have no control? That we must stay in our own lane, on our own paths out of their way? Pure words. </p><p></p><p>How will I get through this? </p><p></p><p>For a couple days I will have some relief, when he leaves our town. After that will start the agony. It is good his phone does not work. But I know I will try to reach him. I will be desperate with fear. </p><p></p><p>I will have to pretend I am withdrawing from a drug, detoxing. I will have to live an hour at a time, a day at a time.. I will have to tell myself this is a dying and rebirth for me, of a sort. How will I live through this?</p><p></p><p>Why is it so much harder this time? Is it because I am finally facing reality? </p><p></p><p>M said this: to come near us again, to have our support again, he will have to complete a one year program. I wanted to say. What about 6 months? </p><p></p><p>Give me a break. I am such a loser</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 737132, member: 18958"] My heartbreak is for me. But I am still so wanting that he change and be safe. That he live. I know I have no control. How many times have I posted to others that we have no control? That we must stay in our own lane, on our own paths out of their way? Pure words. How will I get through this? For a couple days I will have some relief, when he leaves our town. After that will start the agony. It is good his phone does not work. But I know I will try to reach him. I will be desperate with fear. I will have to pretend I am withdrawing from a drug, detoxing. I will have to live an hour at a time, a day at a time.. I will have to tell myself this is a dying and rebirth for me, of a sort. How will I live through this? Why is it so much harder this time? Is it because I am finally facing reality? M said this: to come near us again, to have our support again, he will have to complete a one year program. I wanted to say. What about 6 months? Give me a break. I am such a loser [/QUOTE]
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