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Hard times.
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 737157" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>I'm so sorry, Copa. I think most (if not all) of us here have been on the receiving end of those horrible words. My son used to use the most graphic language to describe how he would die, or he would make veiled threats by asking about my brother's suicide and how guilty I must feel about it. It was beyond cruel. I have a hard time believing it was him now.</p><p></p><p>It's so hard to remember the words aren't directed at us, given how they hit their target so effectively. The words are directed at their attempts to control, or dissipate some of their self-loathing...borne out of the illogical worldview of whatever drug they're taking, or their inability to see beyond their anger...maybe also terror as they are forced to contemplate taking on their own challenges?</p><p></p><p>I can definitely hear terror in his words. He's like the little boy who screams as he runs away, "And you'll never hear from me again!"</p><p></p><p>We have to detach from it, the way we detach from a difficult patient or a difficult client or a driver consumed by road rage. Then we have to let them work through it.</p><p></p><p>You've done such a great job with that, Copa. Keep being the strong and loving mother you are, by letting him work through this. He just might surprise himself, and won't that be a wonderful day for him?</p><p></p><p>Oh, and by the way...<u><strong>YOU</strong></u> a LOSER?! Oh, Copa. You pour your heart into everything you do. You have done so much for your son, and when you saw how detrimental it was, you poured your heart into changing the patterns. Stay strong, and be good to yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 737157, member: 17720"] I'm so sorry, Copa. I think most (if not all) of us here have been on the receiving end of those horrible words. My son used to use the most graphic language to describe how he would die, or he would make veiled threats by asking about my brother's suicide and how guilty I must feel about it. It was beyond cruel. I have a hard time believing it was him now. It's so hard to remember the words aren't directed at us, given how they hit their target so effectively. The words are directed at their attempts to control, or dissipate some of their self-loathing...borne out of the illogical worldview of whatever drug they're taking, or their inability to see beyond their anger...maybe also terror as they are forced to contemplate taking on their own challenges? I can definitely hear terror in his words. He's like the little boy who screams as he runs away, "And you'll never hear from me again!" We have to detach from it, the way we detach from a difficult patient or a difficult client or a driver consumed by road rage. Then we have to let them work through it. You've done such a great job with that, Copa. Keep being the strong and loving mother you are, by letting him work through this. He just might surprise himself, and won't that be a wonderful day for him? Oh, and by the way...[U][B]YOU[/B][/U] a LOSER?! Oh, Copa. You pour your heart into everything you do. You have done so much for your son, and when you saw how detrimental it was, you poured your heart into changing the patterns. Stay strong, and be good to yourself. [/QUOTE]
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