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Hard times.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 737173" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you all. my quote machine does not work with this cell or I would respond to each of you in detail and individually with great thanks.</p><p></p><p>I had suppressed this part until I read albatrosses post:</p><p></p><p>He said he would kill himself in the next few days, describing how he would seek a method where he would not suffer. How ironic that he seeks with such virulence to inflict the keenest suffering upon me.</p><p></p><p>I want to single out an idea i got from your posts that I find hopeful/fearful.</p><p></p><p>The thing is, if I let go of the illusion of control, I, we are at the cusp of agony/ecstasy and peril/possibility and crisis/opportunity.</p><p></p><p>Is it not the human condition that we insulate ourselves from reality because the precipice is so terrifying?</p><p></p><p>There is no growth without risk. Entering the no man's land. Of course I can see this, on an intellectual basis. But I am operating as a wet, reflexive, reactive undifferentiated blob or mass. Unfortunately.</p><p></p><p>But if I get a bit if distance, thank you for that, I see:</p><p></p><p>There is no real love, without facing reality.</p><p></p><p>There is no real compassion if I keep needing to prop myself up through lies and self deception. And from that can emerge true love. I keep insisting he can walk and run if he just tries. There is a real cruelty in this. Unintentional. But cruel nonetheless. But he deserves the chance to try. Propping does not help.</p><p></p><p>I am thinking of the movie, the miracle worker, here. Where is the real cruelty? With the parents and their suffocating pity, or the teacher and her insistence upon freedom?</p><p></p><p>In reality there is no downside to allowing him to construct his own life by his own efforts. Because this is what will permit truth to emerge. He will build that truth. And I guess so will I.</p><p></p><p>I think that is what you are saying, Sam. It is very hard and very painful.</p><p></p><p>My mental makeup is not so helpful. I fall into denial and constant diffuse anxiety. I tell myself that the problem is him, not me. I know the truth.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 737173, member: 18958"] Thank you all. my quote machine does not work with this cell or I would respond to each of you in detail and individually with great thanks. I had suppressed this part until I read albatrosses post: He said he would kill himself in the next few days, describing how he would seek a method where he would not suffer. How ironic that he seeks with such virulence to inflict the keenest suffering upon me. I want to single out an idea i got from your posts that I find hopeful/fearful. The thing is, if I let go of the illusion of control, I, we are at the cusp of agony/ecstasy and peril/possibility and crisis/opportunity. Is it not the human condition that we insulate ourselves from reality because the precipice is so terrifying? There is no growth without risk. Entering the no man's land. Of course I can see this, on an intellectual basis. But I am operating as a wet, reflexive, reactive undifferentiated blob or mass. Unfortunately. But if I get a bit if distance, thank you for that, I see: There is no real love, without facing reality. There is no real compassion if I keep needing to prop myself up through lies and self deception. And from that can emerge true love. I keep insisting he can walk and run if he just tries. There is a real cruelty in this. Unintentional. But cruel nonetheless. But he deserves the chance to try. Propping does not help. I am thinking of the movie, the miracle worker, here. Where is the real cruelty? With the parents and their suffocating pity, or the teacher and her insistence upon freedom? In reality there is no downside to allowing him to construct his own life by his own efforts. Because this is what will permit truth to emerge. He will build that truth. And I guess so will I. I think that is what you are saying, Sam. It is very hard and very painful. My mental makeup is not so helpful. I fall into denial and constant diffuse anxiety. I tell myself that the problem is him, not me. I know the truth. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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