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Hard times.
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 737207" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I am so sorry Copa for your broken heart. Your story could be mine. Except for the bathing part. Rain once lamented to me that she has to bath with a bucket in the park bathroom, rats running through the walls. She had a massive infection on her leg, and refused medical care. It as if she wore that like a badge, and it grieved me to the core, especially given hubs battle with infection. Is it intentional? Do they mean to flagrantly torture us with their consequences, bemoan them, not change, but expect us to step in to the rescue? I think so. It is a silent statement “Look at me, this is all your fault.”</p><p></p><p> Relationship patterns. Someone has to break those cycles, they won’t. However painful, it has to be us.</p><p></p><p> I could wear the T-shirt. What I have learned is to stop. It seems the more I suggested, the more they resisted. So, instead of talking to them about it, I ask in my prayers.</p><p></p><p> Threats, he knows how to poke your eye.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Again, eye poking. Trying to stir up the pain in you, to get a reaction.</p><p> I am sorry. This is not surprising to me, as my two have done the same. More blame throwing and excuses. They are not in their right mind. They give over their responsibility so they don’t have to change. Do they convince themselves? Maybe for a time. But, truth is a smoldering ember inside. The more it goads them, the more they make up to excuse their choices.</p><p></p><p></p><p>It is hard to witness and let go. It is hard to do nothing. The effort you put in is for you to be able to look yourself in the mirror. No one can fault anyone here, for trying to save our beloveds from themselves. We have all been there. I see M changing his tune a bit. I remember an older post where he felt that you both must keep working at helping your son. In the long run, they must want to change. I feel in my case, the more I tried, the deeper they got. </p><p> I am so sorry Copa. It is a heap laid upon us. You are stronger than you know. A good, solid, wise, beautiful soul. Take the time you need to feel what you feel. </p><p>Try not to write the end of the story. </p><p>Miracles happen every day. </p><p>Big hugs.</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 737207, member: 19522"] I am so sorry Copa for your broken heart. Your story could be mine. Except for the bathing part. Rain once lamented to me that she has to bath with a bucket in the park bathroom, rats running through the walls. She had a massive infection on her leg, and refused medical care. It as if she wore that like a badge, and it grieved me to the core, especially given hubs battle with infection. Is it intentional? Do they mean to flagrantly torture us with their consequences, bemoan them, not change, but expect us to step in to the rescue? I think so. It is a silent statement “Look at me, this is all your fault.” Relationship patterns. Someone has to break those cycles, they won’t. However painful, it has to be us. I could wear the T-shirt. What I have learned is to stop. It seems the more I suggested, the more they resisted. So, instead of talking to them about it, I ask in my prayers. Threats, he knows how to poke your eye. Again, eye poking. Trying to stir up the pain in you, to get a reaction. I am sorry. This is not surprising to me, as my two have done the same. More blame throwing and excuses. They are not in their right mind. They give over their responsibility so they don’t have to change. Do they convince themselves? Maybe for a time. But, truth is a smoldering ember inside. The more it goads them, the more they make up to excuse their choices. It is hard to witness and let go. It is hard to do nothing. The effort you put in is for you to be able to look yourself in the mirror. No one can fault anyone here, for trying to save our beloveds from themselves. We have all been there. I see M changing his tune a bit. I remember an older post where he felt that you both must keep working at helping your son. In the long run, they must want to change. I feel in my case, the more I tried, the deeper they got. I am so sorry Copa. It is a heap laid upon us. You are stronger than you know. A good, solid, wise, beautiful soul. Take the time you need to feel what you feel. Try not to write the end of the story. Miracles happen every day. Big hugs. Leafy [/QUOTE]
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