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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 689300" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>I totally understand. Step child won't change and I know that. My poor husband holds out hope she will, but it lessens with each long period of contact, followed by the reeling back in at whim that is never fully open armed, ended with another closed door for no reason and no explanation. I hate it for him. Sometimes they become estranged from their parents and never come back. In our case, it was parental alienation on his ex's part, but sometimes it is just a conflict of personalities and the cause is never known. I think sometimes estranged children don't really know. </p><p></p><p>I would consult an attorney on exactly what you need to do in order that he cannot contest the will - whether that is a letter from attorney or just a line in the will. If you don't want him at the funeral, I would make arrangements for that as well. Anything else, if you choose to give mementos to him or his children, I would do on my own terms at my own time. </p><p></p><p>I know how hard it is to just be dismissed and disowned by a child you loved, cared for, watched grow up, was part of your family. I watch my husband's struggle with it daily. He does it with more grace than I do: he does it with a hopeful longing; I do it with resentment, anger and frustration.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 689300, member: 19905"] I totally understand. Step child won't change and I know that. My poor husband holds out hope she will, but it lessens with each long period of contact, followed by the reeling back in at whim that is never fully open armed, ended with another closed door for no reason and no explanation. I hate it for him. Sometimes they become estranged from their parents and never come back. In our case, it was parental alienation on his ex's part, but sometimes it is just a conflict of personalities and the cause is never known. I think sometimes estranged children don't really know. I would consult an attorney on exactly what you need to do in order that he cannot contest the will - whether that is a letter from attorney or just a line in the will. If you don't want him at the funeral, I would make arrangements for that as well. Anything else, if you choose to give mementos to him or his children, I would do on my own terms at my own time. I know how hard it is to just be dismissed and disowned by a child you loved, cared for, watched grow up, was part of your family. I watch my husband's struggle with it daily. He does it with more grace than I do: he does it with a hopeful longing; I do it with resentment, anger and frustration. [/QUOTE]
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