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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 689613" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>SWOT, I have been following this with interest. IN my own family of birth, my mother was very clear and firm that at all times all things had to be distributed evenly. She spent the same amount of money on each of us for holidays, and the same number of presents. She offered identical support for college, for housing later, for grandchildren. We were all in different financial positions and sometimes those of us who were better off tried to demur, but she insisted. IN her own life her parents had given her younger sister, who was single after a short and unfortunate young marriage, a lot of financial support. My mom was financially secure...while her marriage lasted. When she had a midlife divorce she was dead broke, and turned her home into a rooming house to make ends meet. By then her younger sister had remarried well and was travelling the world. I do think that advice (all things equal regardless of need) was wise...but we all had a loving relationship, and so your story is different.</p><p>I can't speak to the legalities, but I think gone boy is gone...of his own volition. He has declared himself, for a very long time and as an adult, to be not a member of your family. I think you should divide your assets up among the ones who have chosen to remain family. I know they have issues too, but they retained a relationship with you. He didn't just walk out for a month or a year...he left your life. That seems extreme. I wouldn't let him know. He is just...not family anymore. If you want to leave him a letter in your will to be given him after your death, something kind, I think that would be enough.</p><p>My two cents, a little different from others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 689613, member: 17269"] SWOT, I have been following this with interest. IN my own family of birth, my mother was very clear and firm that at all times all things had to be distributed evenly. She spent the same amount of money on each of us for holidays, and the same number of presents. She offered identical support for college, for housing later, for grandchildren. We were all in different financial positions and sometimes those of us who were better off tried to demur, but she insisted. IN her own life her parents had given her younger sister, who was single after a short and unfortunate young marriage, a lot of financial support. My mom was financially secure...while her marriage lasted. When she had a midlife divorce she was dead broke, and turned her home into a rooming house to make ends meet. By then her younger sister had remarried well and was travelling the world. I do think that advice (all things equal regardless of need) was wise...but we all had a loving relationship, and so your story is different. I can't speak to the legalities, but I think gone boy is gone...of his own volition. He has declared himself, for a very long time and as an adult, to be not a member of your family. I think you should divide your assets up among the ones who have chosen to remain family. I know they have issues too, but they retained a relationship with you. He didn't just walk out for a month or a year...he left your life. That seems extreme. I wouldn't let him know. He is just...not family anymore. If you want to leave him a letter in your will to be given him after your death, something kind, I think that would be enough. My two cents, a little different from others. [/QUOTE]
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