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Harm of everyone knowing you have a difficult child (ventish)
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 554693" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>(((((hugs))))) I cannot imagine what it is like to have your child in the public eye so much. Esp when that child had problems and now some busybody has told the general public about it. Sadly I think there are a lot of people in this situation. I totally understand how you feel about the nutjobs who want to 'save' your son. I loathe having someone else's religion shoved upon me. I believe that religion is a deeply personal and private thing and no one should shove their brand of religion on anyone else. </p><p></p><p>I do have a line that has been known to gobsmack the religious looneys who constantly want to convert or 'save' or 'fix' me or one of my family. I simply tell them that I will do ALL that is in my power to provide them with a NEED to pray for me. MOST of the looneys do not get this while I am in front of them but they think about because the emphasis I put on it and often they NEVER bring the subject up again. One of the few who daughter bring it up again was told that I would be thrilled to go and break any four of the commandments she wanted if it would help provide reason for her to pray with me. maybe even break the first commandment on her? The last part scared her so she turned pale and walked the other way from me for a few years. In my defense I was in jr high at the time and she had hounded me about it. She got her nerve up to start in on me again in high school until I let her know that I was the one who sent the lovely photos to her mommy and daddy and pastor. The ones with her and two boys and a bong and a very compromising position or three. I always had a camera with me in high school and she and the boys were at school when doing these things, so it isn't like I peeped in ehr windows. I just walked into a classroom because I heard a yell. She hasn't bothered me, or spent time in the same room as me for over 20 yrs now. Yippee!</p><p></p><p>The line has continued to work as an adult, not the threat about the first commandment, but the rest of it. I truly sympathize with you. It must be terribly hard to go and hear all that nonsense. Just know that in time the comments will stop, one way or another. If you can, go and work with a therapist to try to figure out how to cope with all of this. it is such an invasive thing that you likely need help to learn to cope with it. I know I would. </p><p></p><p>The other thing that shuts the religious looneys up is when you try to convert them to some strange religion (strange to them - theirs is plenty strange to you.) At one point my father told our school that we were Druid, Orthodox Reformed. We were in a Catholic school, we attended church as a family, we were active at the school and church but the school still sent home paperwork every few months asking what religion we were. After five years of telling them that we were Catholic and havng them still ask over and over again, he figured they didn't like that answer. So he gave them Druid, Orthodox Reformed. He even made up some strange tale about a service where we prayed to the maple tree in our backyard (reality was that we used the tire swing and climbing rope in it, like any normal kids would!). But it got them to stop asking him questions, esp since they saw us at mass and at functions and at school. I think Sister Helen almost choked with laughter when she heard my dad explaining his 'religion' (and yes, he did invent the Druid, Orthodox Reformed line out of thin air and not because it was something he had ever heard of) to the nun who was so worried about us when she got the forms. She was our principal and thought it was hilarious. She also kept the priest off my back about it, thankfully. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, I hope the rumors die down soon and until then, vent to us as much as you need.</p><p></p><p>I would STRONGLY caution you to NOT share this site with the parents that seek you out for support over their own difficult child kids. Even though I cannot identify you from what you post, I am sure some of them could figure it out and could share this. You NEED a forum where you can speak openly about this stuff and if someone in your community knows about this site, it could greatly hamper that. been there done that when my gfgbro decided to try to cyber stalk me. It was NOT fun.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 554693, member: 1233"] (((((hugs))))) I cannot imagine what it is like to have your child in the public eye so much. Esp when that child had problems and now some busybody has told the general public about it. Sadly I think there are a lot of people in this situation. I totally understand how you feel about the nutjobs who want to 'save' your son. I loathe having someone else's religion shoved upon me. I believe that religion is a deeply personal and private thing and no one should shove their brand of religion on anyone else. I do have a line that has been known to gobsmack the religious looneys who constantly want to convert or 'save' or 'fix' me or one of my family. I simply tell them that I will do ALL that is in my power to provide them with a NEED to pray for me. MOST of the looneys do not get this while I am in front of them but they think about because the emphasis I put on it and often they NEVER bring the subject up again. One of the few who daughter bring it up again was told that I would be thrilled to go and break any four of the commandments she wanted if it would help provide reason for her to pray with me. maybe even break the first commandment on her? The last part scared her so she turned pale and walked the other way from me for a few years. In my defense I was in jr high at the time and she had hounded me about it. She got her nerve up to start in on me again in high school until I let her know that I was the one who sent the lovely photos to her mommy and daddy and pastor. The ones with her and two boys and a bong and a very compromising position or three. I always had a camera with me in high school and she and the boys were at school when doing these things, so it isn't like I peeped in ehr windows. I just walked into a classroom because I heard a yell. She hasn't bothered me, or spent time in the same room as me for over 20 yrs now. Yippee! The line has continued to work as an adult, not the threat about the first commandment, but the rest of it. I truly sympathize with you. It must be terribly hard to go and hear all that nonsense. Just know that in time the comments will stop, one way or another. If you can, go and work with a therapist to try to figure out how to cope with all of this. it is such an invasive thing that you likely need help to learn to cope with it. I know I would. The other thing that shuts the religious looneys up is when you try to convert them to some strange religion (strange to them - theirs is plenty strange to you.) At one point my father told our school that we were Druid, Orthodox Reformed. We were in a Catholic school, we attended church as a family, we were active at the school and church but the school still sent home paperwork every few months asking what religion we were. After five years of telling them that we were Catholic and havng them still ask over and over again, he figured they didn't like that answer. So he gave them Druid, Orthodox Reformed. He even made up some strange tale about a service where we prayed to the maple tree in our backyard (reality was that we used the tire swing and climbing rope in it, like any normal kids would!). But it got them to stop asking him questions, esp since they saw us at mass and at functions and at school. I think Sister Helen almost choked with laughter when she heard my dad explaining his 'religion' (and yes, he did invent the Druid, Orthodox Reformed line out of thin air and not because it was something he had ever heard of) to the nun who was so worried about us when she got the forms. She was our principal and thought it was hilarious. She also kept the priest off my back about it, thankfully. Anyway, I hope the rumors die down soon and until then, vent to us as much as you need. I would STRONGLY caution you to NOT share this site with the parents that seek you out for support over their own difficult child kids. Even though I cannot identify you from what you post, I am sure some of them could figure it out and could share this. You NEED a forum where you can speak openly about this stuff and if someone in your community knows about this site, it could greatly hamper that. been there done that when my gfgbro decided to try to cyber stalk me. It was NOT fun. [/QUOTE]
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