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Substance Abuse
Harsh words and a tough order-how do we play this?
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<blockquote data-quote="Suz" data-source="post: 22093" data-attributes="member: 29"><p>"I should have known that you'd abandon me just like my birthparents did when I was born." </p><p></p><p>(that is such a load of horsepucky I can't believe you'd even respond to it but if you feel you must...)</p><p></p><p><strong>I'm sorry you feel that we are abandoning you, honey.</strong></p><p></p><p>That's it.</p><p></p><p>Yes, that's it.</p><p></p><p>There is no reason you need to explain further.</p><p></p><p></p><p>"Why do you care more about what the easy child wants than what your kid wants?"</p><p></p><p><strong>We care about what society wants. easy child is trying to teach you those things. We support that.</strong></p><p></p><p>"IF you and Dad don't care about me, then I don't want to talk to you for a couple of weeks." </p><p></p><p><strong>I'm sorry you feel that way, Honey. You know how to reach us when you are ready.</strong></p><p></p><p>"If you and Dad don't come see me, I'll go crazy and do something bad." </p><p></p><p><strong>I'm sorry you feel that way, honey. I hope you will ask for help if you find that you are losing control.</strong></p><p></p><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">As far as buying him things...guilty as charged. Suz, he's my only child, and I just feel like, with him so far away that there's not much else I can do to "mother" him except send him the little things he asks for once in awhile.</div></div></p><p></p><p>Sorry. You can rationalize it all you want but it's not helping him. And his current situation is proof positive. You have such a small window left. He is almost 18! Learning doesn't stop at 18 but many of these extraneous supports (Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and other special programs) do.</p><p></p><p>Your son needs to feel your loss. He needs to feel the loss of a lot of things. He needs to learn the joy of self respect and earning respect from others. He needs to learn to be honest in word, in act, in thought. He is giving you lip service. The kind of emotional blackmail you described with his quotes above makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. It is manipulative and sociopathic and baloney.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry to be so harsh but you really do need to hear it like it is all around.</p><p></p><p>Suz</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Suz, post: 22093, member: 29"] "I should have known that you'd abandon me just like my birthparents did when I was born." (that is such a load of horsepucky I can't believe you'd even respond to it but if you feel you must...) [b]I'm sorry you feel that we are abandoning you, honey.[/b] That's it. Yes, that's it. There is no reason you need to explain further. "Why do you care more about what the easy child wants than what your kid wants?" [b]We care about what society wants. easy child is trying to teach you those things. We support that.[/b] "IF you and Dad don't care about me, then I don't want to talk to you for a couple of weeks." [b]I'm sorry you feel that way, Honey. You know how to reach us when you are ready.[/b] "If you and Dad don't come see me, I'll go crazy and do something bad." [b]I'm sorry you feel that way, honey. I hope you will ask for help if you find that you are losing control.[/b] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">As far as buying him things...guilty as charged. Suz, he's my only child, and I just feel like, with him so far away that there's not much else I can do to "mother" him except send him the little things he asks for once in awhile.</div></div> Sorry. You can rationalize it all you want but it's not helping him. And his current situation is proof positive. You have such a small window left. He is almost 18! Learning doesn't stop at 18 but many of these extraneous supports (Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and other special programs) do. Your son needs to feel your loss. He needs to feel the loss of a lot of things. He needs to learn the joy of self respect and earning respect from others. He needs to learn to be honest in word, in act, in thought. He is giving you lip service. The kind of emotional blackmail you described with his quotes above makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. It is manipulative and sociopathic and baloney. I'm sorry to be so harsh but you really do need to hear it like it is all around. Suz [/QUOTE]
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Harsh words and a tough order-how do we play this?
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