I don't even know where to start, but, here's the short version. The program coordinator, after catching our son outside smoking a cigarette (second time) and various other minor issues, has decided to put him on a 30-day contract which, if he doesn't get his act together, will lead to his termination from the program. He really has had every opportunity in this wonderful program to make good progress, but he continues to goof off, break rules, and then blame everyone else for the consequences. The easy child told me that he's given him the benefit of the doubt for four months, and now he's basically come to the conclusion that our son is making these choices because he enjoys showing off to his peers, manipulating me/us, and isn't doing much in the give-and-take department, (i.e., HE doesn't make an effort to earn his status so that he can visit home or get a day pass, yet we make the almost-four-hour trip there, faithfully, every other weekend and sit in the house for an hour, etc.) His easy child wants us to support him by practicing tough love and NOT visiting our son every other week, NOT send him various clothing items and shoes when he asks for them, etc. He wants our son to become "immersed" in the program with no distractions for what sounds like his last chance. Of course, we'll do as he has asked as we DON'T want our son terminated. But, HOW do I explain to our son that we aren't coming to visit him again until he earns a weekend or day pass? Or that I won't be sending him any more little gifts? I know he's going to be VERY upset and angry about this, and I'm so afraid that he'll crash and burn and totally give up. This was what worried me when the easy child asked us early on to limit our visits to every other week rather than every week. I need some good comebacks for when he calls me and tries to lay on the guilt and/or anger. I want him to know that we love and support him but that we're all rather fed up with his cr-p. In the past, when I try to encourage him to get with the program and earn visits home, he tells me I'm adding to his stress by "pressuring" him. If I let any degree of MY frustration though, he gets angry. Help!