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General Parenting
Has Anyone Ever Seen Kids Behave as Badly as This
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 455792" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>I STRONGLY urge you, your girlfriend of six years, and the children to see a therapist experienced with blended families. Love alone is not enough. And since your girlfriend has been in the picture for so long and is the only other primary adult in their lives, she does have some sort of parental authority. By blending your family you must realize that the kids are coming into it not only with their own perspectives but possibly the perspective of others, such as exw or her family, etc. I get that kids that ages fight all the time, they're practically feral. However, to mistreat their younger sibs, treat them like garbage is unacceptable. Working with a therapist experienced with your situation would be able to help you be very organized with your punishments and disciplinary methods. By trying several different methods it confuses things, the kids learn that they have exhausted you and possibly outwitted you. You will need to find a method that works for you and girlfriend and then remain consistent-those boys are running your home. You and girlfriend should be the ones running the home. And the children need to learn respect for others, beginning within the family. I know it's a pita to go to a therapist, but honestly, you cannot join four families without expecting chaos-you need a helping hand and since their schooling is not a problem, then focus should be primarily on creating a family home life that is acceptable, loving and nurturing for everyone-you are a team. Your daughter needs to learn that it's unacceptable to be treated badly or she may end up in an abusive relationship later in life. This is serious, I wish you the best and hope you're able to get some help. Reading books is a start, but I really think you need intervention by a professional. Hugs-</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 455792, member: 2211"] I STRONGLY urge you, your girlfriend of six years, and the children to see a therapist experienced with blended families. Love alone is not enough. And since your girlfriend has been in the picture for so long and is the only other primary adult in their lives, she does have some sort of parental authority. By blending your family you must realize that the kids are coming into it not only with their own perspectives but possibly the perspective of others, such as exw or her family, etc. I get that kids that ages fight all the time, they're practically feral. However, to mistreat their younger sibs, treat them like garbage is unacceptable. Working with a therapist experienced with your situation would be able to help you be very organized with your punishments and disciplinary methods. By trying several different methods it confuses things, the kids learn that they have exhausted you and possibly outwitted you. You will need to find a method that works for you and girlfriend and then remain consistent-those boys are running your home. You and girlfriend should be the ones running the home. And the children need to learn respect for others, beginning within the family. I know it's a pita to go to a therapist, but honestly, you cannot join four families without expecting chaos-you need a helping hand and since their schooling is not a problem, then focus should be primarily on creating a family home life that is acceptable, loving and nurturing for everyone-you are a team. Your daughter needs to learn that it's unacceptable to be treated badly or she may end up in an abusive relationship later in life. This is serious, I wish you the best and hope you're able to get some help. Reading books is a start, but I really think you need intervention by a professional. Hugs- [/QUOTE]
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