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General Parenting
has your difficult child learned perspective taking skills/abilities?
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 413807" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Interesting question because I was listening to "Doctor Radio" on Sirus yesterday afternoon (did some thai chili/jalapeno spicy jelly canning and needed a diversion while I was on my feet cooking for a couple hours!) and the topic was kinda centered on the tiger mom issue. But one sidebar was a question from a listener, "can you teach your child empathy?" The doctor, a pediatric psychologist said, in her opinion, no. She said that you can teach awareness of others but not empathy. In her opinion, empathy is a trait you are born with. But, if you are raising a child who has no empathy, you have to work harder to teach them "awareness".</p><p></p><p>Now, add into the mix that we have difficult children........all bets are off.</p><p></p><p>I do think that this issue is individual though. I don't believe all difficult children are not empathetic just as I don't believe all easy child's are.</p><p></p><p>I know for me, from a very early age, I have tried my best to teach my children that there are others in the world besides themselves. We have worked feeding and housing the homeless through our church, do the Salvation Army Angel Tree every Christmas, do outreach through youth programs at local nursing facilities, etc. But more than anything else, I have done my best to teach my children that everyone deserves the same respect - from the homeless man with no teeth, to the man you interview with for a job. They are humans who have the same basic needs. I have also tried to always stress you do for others because how it makes them feel, not how it makes you feel.</p><p></p><p>I am fortunate that our church has always had a very vital outreach (especially given it's an inner city church) program for youth and, as the Sunday School teacher for teenaged, I always include local outreach as part of the curriculum. </p><p></p><p>I say all this because I do believe that, as with most things, repetition often becomes part of your life. Given that my kids have been so exposed to helping others, I would like to think it's a tiny bit of who they are. Perhaps that is what the doctor was talking about when she said "awareness".</p><p></p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 413807, member: 805"] Interesting question because I was listening to "Doctor Radio" on Sirus yesterday afternoon (did some thai chili/jalapeno spicy jelly canning and needed a diversion while I was on my feet cooking for a couple hours!) and the topic was kinda centered on the tiger mom issue. But one sidebar was a question from a listener, "can you teach your child empathy?" The doctor, a pediatric psychologist said, in her opinion, no. She said that you can teach awareness of others but not empathy. In her opinion, empathy is a trait you are born with. But, if you are raising a child who has no empathy, you have to work harder to teach them "awareness". Now, add into the mix that we have difficult children........all bets are off. I do think that this issue is individual though. I don't believe all difficult children are not empathetic just as I don't believe all easy child's are. I know for me, from a very early age, I have tried my best to teach my children that there are others in the world besides themselves. We have worked feeding and housing the homeless through our church, do the Salvation Army Angel Tree every Christmas, do outreach through youth programs at local nursing facilities, etc. But more than anything else, I have done my best to teach my children that everyone deserves the same respect - from the homeless man with no teeth, to the man you interview with for a job. They are humans who have the same basic needs. I have also tried to always stress you do for others because how it makes them feel, not how it makes you feel. I am fortunate that our church has always had a very vital outreach (especially given it's an inner city church) program for youth and, as the Sunday School teacher for teenaged, I always include local outreach as part of the curriculum. I say all this because I do believe that, as with most things, repetition often becomes part of your life. Given that my kids have been so exposed to helping others, I would like to think it's a tiny bit of who they are. Perhaps that is what the doctor was talking about when she said "awareness". Sharon [/QUOTE]
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