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General Parenting
Have an ADHD/Defiant Teen and I feel helpless and crazy!
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 377100" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p></p><p>The only consequence I believe in - removing the kid from your home , not that this will impact positively on your child , it will just give you room to live a life. I don't believe parents have the structures like Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s , thearaputic treatment centers to enforce consequences . If the thinking today in these centers is to move away from ' consequences' and focus on relationship, empowering the child, giving them a vision and the life skills , how much more so we parents - if we want to make matters worse than ww3 try to break them into submission</p><p></p><p>the only hope is finding the cheer leaders, teachers, young adults, mentors, older sister who can reach her , she needs to learn to trust adults and see them and you as help . She needs positive people in her life who will love her and accept her for who she is . She is going to get love and unconditional acceptance from negative peers , she needs to get it from us.</p><p></p><p>So where do we start . in my humble opinion get the latest copy of the explosive child </p><p></p><p><a href="http://allankatz-parentingislearning.blogspot.com/2010/07/children-do-well-if-they-can.html" target="_blank">http://allankatz-parentingislearning.blogspot.com/2010/07/children-do-well-if-they-can.html</a></p><p></p><p><a href="http://allankatz-parentingislearning.blogspot.com/2010/08/talking-does-not-help.html" target="_blank">http://allankatz-parentingislearning.blogspot.com/2010/08/talking-does-not-help.html</a></p><p></p><p>go through the checklists - Thinking skills inventory or Assessed lacking skills and unsolved problems</p><p></p><p>try to relax the home , more music and plenty of one on one chatting on general stuff , just connecting , talking to her as a friend , taking perspectives , no blame , like a personal coach getting her to do the thinking , talking, goal setting , help her create a vision</p><p></p><p>This is a process , not a technique , not easy but better than going to war</p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 377100, member: 10"] Hi, The only consequence I believe in - removing the kid from your home , not that this will impact positively on your child , it will just give you room to live a life. I don't believe parents have the structures like Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s , thearaputic treatment centers to enforce consequences . If the thinking today in these centers is to move away from ' consequences' and focus on relationship, empowering the child, giving them a vision and the life skills , how much more so we parents - if we want to make matters worse than ww3 try to break them into submission the only hope is finding the cheer leaders, teachers, young adults, mentors, older sister who can reach her , she needs to learn to trust adults and see them and you as help . She needs positive people in her life who will love her and accept her for who she is . She is going to get love and unconditional acceptance from negative peers , she needs to get it from us. So where do we start . in my humble opinion get the latest copy of the explosive child [url]http://allankatz-parentingislearning.blogspot.com/2010/07/children-do-well-if-they-can.html[/url] [url]http://allankatz-parentingislearning.blogspot.com/2010/08/talking-does-not-help.html[/url] go through the checklists - Thinking skills inventory or Assessed lacking skills and unsolved problems try to relax the home , more music and plenty of one on one chatting on general stuff , just connecting , talking to her as a friend , taking perspectives , no blame , like a personal coach getting her to do the thinking , talking, goal setting , help her create a vision This is a process , not a technique , not easy but better than going to war Allan [/QUOTE]
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Have an ADHD/Defiant Teen and I feel helpless and crazy!
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