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Have to make a decision about Billy and living here
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<blockquote data-quote="1905" data-source="post: 540789" data-attributes="member: 2668"><p>I hope you find out today what's wrong and it's not serious. Good luck at the dr. He is very comfortable there, but he's also miserable and he does need a change. Maybe he's so shy, afraid and nervous about making changes in his life that he just can't, or won't. You can help him, I wouldn't normally say this, but you fix up his resume yourself. I know it's not your job, but I think you know how to write it nicely so a future employer will consider him. With his vast knowldege about electronics, he can be an asset anywhere. Right now, the money he makes is less than what they pay here to push the shoping out of the parking lots. difficult child did this 10 years ago and made more money than that. I went to a college orientation last week and all they talked about were how nerd type's are the big thing, that's what the future employer is looking for- the dean even said "Girls, marry the nerd, he'll treat you like a queen". He then showed a slide of the most painful looking nerds ever, one of whom was Bill Gates. Have a converstion about how you will help him. He'll need one nice looking outfit. Target sells nice Docker's style pants for $10, and nice shirts for $15. I just bought a few of those things for my easy child for work. Billy needs one for an interview.</p><p></p><p>The food and money thing. Billy did forget, husband and I each do the same thing to the other- the only differece is I hand him a note with my 3 items or whatever, so he doesn't forget. But, sadly, husband says he doesn't need the note and leaves it here-usually forgetting one of my items when he returns. When he asks me for something at the store, I always tell him to write it down for me or once I get there I'll always forget something. But for Billy- give him a list! And once a week with his fare share's worth of things. Not all for him, for everyone! He eats at work, fine, but he also eats there, uses toilet paper, soap and eats food that you pay for- which you are fine with, but he has to buy things on that list to contribute his fair share. Yes, there will be things that are "just" for you, he'll be paying for that sometimes. That's life, just like you pay for things he eats. The list will be a fair share that you have taken into consideration based on his pay. Since he forgets, he gets a list now. No big deal. If he can get away with not doing something he doesn't do it. He seems to not mind being reprimanded, then he doesn't have to do the chores anyway, so he's fine with it. Tell him if he can't help, he can contribute in other ways like by you adding more thing to his grocery list- to make it fair that he lives there rent free and doesn't help.</p><p></p><p></p><p>He has an uncle he can go live with. Buck owes you guys months and months of free room and board for a member of your family. If he does that, he'll hate it and maybe light a fire under him to look for something better. Really he needs a fire lit under him for him to want the change. Janet, be the fire.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1905, post: 540789, member: 2668"] I hope you find out today what's wrong and it's not serious. Good luck at the dr. He is very comfortable there, but he's also miserable and he does need a change. Maybe he's so shy, afraid and nervous about making changes in his life that he just can't, or won't. You can help him, I wouldn't normally say this, but you fix up his resume yourself. I know it's not your job, but I think you know how to write it nicely so a future employer will consider him. With his vast knowldege about electronics, he can be an asset anywhere. Right now, the money he makes is less than what they pay here to push the shoping out of the parking lots. difficult child did this 10 years ago and made more money than that. I went to a college orientation last week and all they talked about were how nerd type's are the big thing, that's what the future employer is looking for- the dean even said "Girls, marry the nerd, he'll treat you like a queen". He then showed a slide of the most painful looking nerds ever, one of whom was Bill Gates. Have a converstion about how you will help him. He'll need one nice looking outfit. Target sells nice Docker's style pants for $10, and nice shirts for $15. I just bought a few of those things for my easy child for work. Billy needs one for an interview. The food and money thing. Billy did forget, husband and I each do the same thing to the other- the only differece is I hand him a note with my 3 items or whatever, so he doesn't forget. But, sadly, husband says he doesn't need the note and leaves it here-usually forgetting one of my items when he returns. When he asks me for something at the store, I always tell him to write it down for me or once I get there I'll always forget something. But for Billy- give him a list! And once a week with his fare share's worth of things. Not all for him, for everyone! He eats at work, fine, but he also eats there, uses toilet paper, soap and eats food that you pay for- which you are fine with, but he has to buy things on that list to contribute his fair share. Yes, there will be things that are "just" for you, he'll be paying for that sometimes. That's life, just like you pay for things he eats. The list will be a fair share that you have taken into consideration based on his pay. Since he forgets, he gets a list now. No big deal. If he can get away with not doing something he doesn't do it. He seems to not mind being reprimanded, then he doesn't have to do the chores anyway, so he's fine with it. Tell him if he can't help, he can contribute in other ways like by you adding more thing to his grocery list- to make it fair that he lives there rent free and doesn't help. He has an uncle he can go live with. Buck owes you guys months and months of free room and board for a member of your family. If he does that, he'll hate it and maybe light a fire under him to look for something better. Really he needs a fire lit under him for him to want the change. Janet, be the fire. [/QUOTE]
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