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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 534135" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Pinevalley, buddy, Exhausted, Kathy...</p><p>Thank you. The grands are definitely spoiled, smile. But I so wish they had a healthy father in their lives too. I grew up without a dad and I know that dad's have such an important role in a child's life. I think for boys they need a hero...someone to look up to and believe what is said to them about themselves. For girls they also need a hero...and a protector and someone who teaches them how to value themselves/respect themselves. </p><p>I also think dad's help children get themselves under control rather quickly. Amazing the affect my husband had on our children when he walked through the door in their younger years. </p><p></p><p>I always felt that I was the "heart" of the home...but also felt husband was the "head" of the home, the leader, mentor, protector and provider. Both roles are SO important to a child...and my grandchildren are sadly missing that experience since young difficult child chose his addictions the past several years and the aftermath has resulted in prison time. </p><p>I am concerned about the long-term damage. </p><p></p><p>buddy, </p><p>daughter in law is taking antibiotics and pain medication. The operation (C-Section) was fairly traumatic in my opinion. They had to cut through alot of scar tissue and the Dr even asked who did her last C-section as apparently things were not what he was used to seeing. </p><p>daughter in law's mother has taken the week off of work and is staying at home with daughter in law through this next Monday. I am going to do my best to drive over to her mom's a few days a week and help out with all the kiddo's. I remember having 3 of my own with no support...It was a VERY tough job. </p><p></p><p>Exhausted...Part of me feels so very guilty for the grands. It breaks my heart that they don't have the dad (my son) they deserve in their lives right now. It is the ugly elephant in the room between daughter in law's mother and me. Mother in law has obvious disdain for young difficult child for Obvious reasons too. And I...I have deep love for young difficult child and pain so heavey in my heart at times for the all of the unanswered questions...for the void that is right now. Wondering how all of this will shake out in the end and where all of their lives will end up as a result of this period of time. </p><p></p><p>Regardless of what happens. I will be there. The grandbabies do have lots of love in their lives...but they need a father too. It is up to young difficult child to decide who/what he wants to be/do. I wish I could force him...for the grandchildren. But I know addiction. It doesn't care how much love or depravation you throw at it...it must come from within young difficult child to acknowledge and seek real help with and learn to live a new life without drugs or alcohol. </p><p>It makes me very sad to ponder. </p><p></p><p>On a more positive note...I DID write young difficult child a letter this morning and sent him pics of Jordyn. I hope his heart aches for who/what/where he should be. I hope he will hurt so badly that dramatic change is in his future. </p><p></p><p>It is out of my hands. </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 534135, member: 3305"] Pinevalley, buddy, Exhausted, Kathy... Thank you. The grands are definitely spoiled, smile. But I so wish they had a healthy father in their lives too. I grew up without a dad and I know that dad's have such an important role in a child's life. I think for boys they need a hero...someone to look up to and believe what is said to them about themselves. For girls they also need a hero...and a protector and someone who teaches them how to value themselves/respect themselves. I also think dad's help children get themselves under control rather quickly. Amazing the affect my husband had on our children when he walked through the door in their younger years. I always felt that I was the "heart" of the home...but also felt husband was the "head" of the home, the leader, mentor, protector and provider. Both roles are SO important to a child...and my grandchildren are sadly missing that experience since young difficult child chose his addictions the past several years and the aftermath has resulted in prison time. I am concerned about the long-term damage. buddy, daughter in law is taking antibiotics and pain medication. The operation (C-Section) was fairly traumatic in my opinion. They had to cut through alot of scar tissue and the Dr even asked who did her last C-section as apparently things were not what he was used to seeing. daughter in law's mother has taken the week off of work and is staying at home with daughter in law through this next Monday. I am going to do my best to drive over to her mom's a few days a week and help out with all the kiddo's. I remember having 3 of my own with no support...It was a VERY tough job. Exhausted...Part of me feels so very guilty for the grands. It breaks my heart that they don't have the dad (my son) they deserve in their lives right now. It is the ugly elephant in the room between daughter in law's mother and me. Mother in law has obvious disdain for young difficult child for Obvious reasons too. And I...I have deep love for young difficult child and pain so heavey in my heart at times for the all of the unanswered questions...for the void that is right now. Wondering how all of this will shake out in the end and where all of their lives will end up as a result of this period of time. Regardless of what happens. I will be there. The grandbabies do have lots of love in their lives...but they need a father too. It is up to young difficult child to decide who/what he wants to be/do. I wish I could force him...for the grandchildren. But I know addiction. It doesn't care how much love or depravation you throw at it...it must come from within young difficult child to acknowledge and seek real help with and learn to live a new life without drugs or alcohol. It makes me very sad to ponder. On a more positive note...I DID write young difficult child a letter this morning and sent him pics of Jordyn. I hope his heart aches for who/what/where he should be. I hope he will hurt so badly that dramatic change is in his future. It is out of my hands. LMS [/QUOTE]
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