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Have you ever wanted to just homeschool?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 195527" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Thanks, tinamarie.</p><p></p><p>I just wish I had realised years earlier just how good this could be. However, I must emphasise - you do need to be engaged in this yourself and not feel resentful at all of the way it encroaches on your space.</p><p></p><p>I put myself in the mindset of - if it's during school hours, my job is to be available to difficult child 3, to support his learning. </p><p></p><p>This means that if I'm reading a book, or watching my favourite TV program, but it's during school hours - I have to stop my stuff IMMEDIATELY if difficult child 3 needs any help. I also have to do it willingly, without sounding exasperated or annoyed. </p><p></p><p>By remaining patient with difficult child 3, it means he isn't discouraged from asking for help. He's such a flamin' independent kid anyway, the last thing I need is to discourage him. The other thing that is useful is keeping myself flexible to find ways to help him learn, and to get his bookwork done.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 does correspondence lessons which are mostly on paper. This year he has a few subjects with lessons on computer. But a classic example of what I'm talking about was last year, towards the end of our New Zealand trip. </p><p>We were catching a train that goes right across South Island, from coast to coast. Because we were sightseeing tourists, we were catching the train both ways in the same day - leaving early in the morning from the east, arriving for lunch on the west coast, then an hour later leaving the west by train back to where we started.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 wasn't really interested in the scenery, although it was spectacular. We'd already seen a great many very high snow-covered mountains, driven over a few and around many more. He liked it, but kids don't sit and gaze at scenery the way adults do. So we gave difficult child 3 some of his more challenging bookwork (English) to do on the train. He had long stretches of sameness, the sound of the train acted like white noise to mask any background conversations, etc. so he was able to generally stay on task. And the occasional stops along the way gave him enough of a break to make the task enjoyable. Because of the heavy snows, few people were travelling so we had most of the carriage to ourselves. difficult child 3 just spread out on the little table in front of the seat - Alphasmart in front of him, bag with papers beside him, current work sheets beside the Alphasmart. And camera also beside him in case the scenery changed suddenly. Meanwhile although I was oohing and aahing at the scenery, I stayed close by so I could watch difficult child 3 and step in if he looked like he needed encouragement.</p><p>His task was a tricky one for him - he had to write an adventure story. Since we had just had our "snowed in" adventure, he drew on that for his story and wrote about two boys being stranded at home in the snow and only panicking when the satellite TV went out because the satellite dish filled up with snow (this happened to us also). He was writing this as the train rattled through the high mountains of the NZ alps. We got off the train and explored for 20 minutes when the train stopped at the highest point, an isolated village called Arthur's Pass where snow had closed the road and the paths were treacherous with ice. This is so strange to us, especially seeing things like a broken water pipe which had icicles building up in fantastic shapes, from the water still spraying out and freezing. It all added to what he was writing - and because he had work to do, it actually helped him stay calm amidst all the strangeness.</p><p>Back on the train I took photos of him working, to post to his teachers - it was such a classic sight: difficult child with his head down over his books, the breathtaking mountain scenery flashing past the window unregarded.</p><p></p><p>So yes, it can be hard work. But this aspect is, for me and for husband, an unexpectedly wonderful thing - the chance to see education, lessons and life's experiences as an opportunity to learn, but to see it through our child's eyes and thereby have the chance to learn it all over again ourselves. And this time, to really enjoy it. </p><p></p><p>Yes, we have to put our own wishes aside sometimes. Yes, a lot of what I would like to do for myself at the moment is going to have to wait another few years. But in the meantime, I'm doing a vital job, I'm providing my son with the best opportunity to learn that he can possibly get at the moment. This time will pass. When it has passed, I will be free to get back to what I want. I can also remind myself that while I am sitting cloistered in my house supporting difficult child 3 as he slowly plods through his work at a snail's pace (sometimes he can be frustratingly slow) that at least the work is being done - in a mainstream setting, he wouldn't be learning any of the topic because he IS so slow. </p><p></p><p>Knowing that I have more control now, that I am free to do more without having to field phone calls from schools that difficult child 3 needs rescuing (or they do) is HUGELY comforting. I am his mother - I know his emotional needs better than anyone else. I love him and want to help him more than any teacher possibly could.</p><p></p><p>The down side - you are with your child SO MUCH that you can get sick of the sight of each other. You do need to plan in time apart. For difficult child 3, this is at the end of his school day, when he chooses to go for a walk, alone. I'd like to go too (and sometimes I have done so) but I find difficult child 3 likes to wander off alone just to be by himself.</p><p>Sometimes he wants to go play with a friend. For a long time, I would go too and sit to talk with the mother while the boys played together in another room.</p><p></p><p>Another facet - husband often gets impatient if he gets home from work and finds chores not done. His first reaction is, "He's been home all day - why isn't it done?" However, he then remembers - difficult child 3, during the day, MUST focus on his schoolwork. I generally do not ask him to do any chores during school hours, unless it fits in (such as putting away the dishes while he is watching a documentary on the TV and there's an ad break).</p><p></p><p>"School work during school hours" cuts both ways.</p><p></p><p>And remember - although this is working for us, and I will happily support anyone who wants to give this a try for a child who is just not functioning well at school, I do not necessarily advocate home schooling for all children. It's not necessarily a specialised task, but it IS a major commitment to make this decision, because you MUST remember that you have just chosen to put the child's education as your highest priority, during the most productive part of your day. You really do need a very strong reason to justify this level of commitment.</p><p></p><p>But once you've chosen - do it wholeheartedly, and I hope you find the rewards in the special, unexpected moments as I have done.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 195527, member: 1991"] Thanks, tinamarie. I just wish I had realised years earlier just how good this could be. However, I must emphasise - you do need to be engaged in this yourself and not feel resentful at all of the way it encroaches on your space. I put myself in the mindset of - if it's during school hours, my job is to be available to difficult child 3, to support his learning. This means that if I'm reading a book, or watching my favourite TV program, but it's during school hours - I have to stop my stuff IMMEDIATELY if difficult child 3 needs any help. I also have to do it willingly, without sounding exasperated or annoyed. By remaining patient with difficult child 3, it means he isn't discouraged from asking for help. He's such a flamin' independent kid anyway, the last thing I need is to discourage him. The other thing that is useful is keeping myself flexible to find ways to help him learn, and to get his bookwork done. difficult child 3 does correspondence lessons which are mostly on paper. This year he has a few subjects with lessons on computer. But a classic example of what I'm talking about was last year, towards the end of our New Zealand trip. We were catching a train that goes right across South Island, from coast to coast. Because we were sightseeing tourists, we were catching the train both ways in the same day - leaving early in the morning from the east, arriving for lunch on the west coast, then an hour later leaving the west by train back to where we started. difficult child 3 wasn't really interested in the scenery, although it was spectacular. We'd already seen a great many very high snow-covered mountains, driven over a few and around many more. He liked it, but kids don't sit and gaze at scenery the way adults do. So we gave difficult child 3 some of his more challenging bookwork (English) to do on the train. He had long stretches of sameness, the sound of the train acted like white noise to mask any background conversations, etc. so he was able to generally stay on task. And the occasional stops along the way gave him enough of a break to make the task enjoyable. Because of the heavy snows, few people were travelling so we had most of the carriage to ourselves. difficult child 3 just spread out on the little table in front of the seat - Alphasmart in front of him, bag with papers beside him, current work sheets beside the Alphasmart. And camera also beside him in case the scenery changed suddenly. Meanwhile although I was oohing and aahing at the scenery, I stayed close by so I could watch difficult child 3 and step in if he looked like he needed encouragement. His task was a tricky one for him - he had to write an adventure story. Since we had just had our "snowed in" adventure, he drew on that for his story and wrote about two boys being stranded at home in the snow and only panicking when the satellite TV went out because the satellite dish filled up with snow (this happened to us also). He was writing this as the train rattled through the high mountains of the NZ alps. We got off the train and explored for 20 minutes when the train stopped at the highest point, an isolated village called Arthur's Pass where snow had closed the road and the paths were treacherous with ice. This is so strange to us, especially seeing things like a broken water pipe which had icicles building up in fantastic shapes, from the water still spraying out and freezing. It all added to what he was writing - and because he had work to do, it actually helped him stay calm amidst all the strangeness. Back on the train I took photos of him working, to post to his teachers - it was such a classic sight: difficult child with his head down over his books, the breathtaking mountain scenery flashing past the window unregarded. So yes, it can be hard work. But this aspect is, for me and for husband, an unexpectedly wonderful thing - the chance to see education, lessons and life's experiences as an opportunity to learn, but to see it through our child's eyes and thereby have the chance to learn it all over again ourselves. And this time, to really enjoy it. Yes, we have to put our own wishes aside sometimes. Yes, a lot of what I would like to do for myself at the moment is going to have to wait another few years. But in the meantime, I'm doing a vital job, I'm providing my son with the best opportunity to learn that he can possibly get at the moment. This time will pass. When it has passed, I will be free to get back to what I want. I can also remind myself that while I am sitting cloistered in my house supporting difficult child 3 as he slowly plods through his work at a snail's pace (sometimes he can be frustratingly slow) that at least the work is being done - in a mainstream setting, he wouldn't be learning any of the topic because he IS so slow. Knowing that I have more control now, that I am free to do more without having to field phone calls from schools that difficult child 3 needs rescuing (or they do) is HUGELY comforting. I am his mother - I know his emotional needs better than anyone else. I love him and want to help him more than any teacher possibly could. The down side - you are with your child SO MUCH that you can get sick of the sight of each other. You do need to plan in time apart. For difficult child 3, this is at the end of his school day, when he chooses to go for a walk, alone. I'd like to go too (and sometimes I have done so) but I find difficult child 3 likes to wander off alone just to be by himself. Sometimes he wants to go play with a friend. For a long time, I would go too and sit to talk with the mother while the boys played together in another room. Another facet - husband often gets impatient if he gets home from work and finds chores not done. His first reaction is, "He's been home all day - why isn't it done?" However, he then remembers - difficult child 3, during the day, MUST focus on his schoolwork. I generally do not ask him to do any chores during school hours, unless it fits in (such as putting away the dishes while he is watching a documentary on the TV and there's an ad break). "School work during school hours" cuts both ways. And remember - although this is working for us, and I will happily support anyone who wants to give this a try for a child who is just not functioning well at school, I do not necessarily advocate home schooling for all children. It's not necessarily a specialised task, but it IS a major commitment to make this decision, because you MUST remember that you have just chosen to put the child's education as your highest priority, during the most productive part of your day. You really do need a very strong reason to justify this level of commitment. But once you've chosen - do it wholeheartedly, and I hope you find the rewards in the special, unexpected moments as I have done. Marg [/QUOTE]
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