Haven't been around

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Alttlgabby, Feb 14, 2009.

  1. Alttlgabby

    Alttlgabby New Member

    Sorry ladies.. I know I am a newbie, but I have been diligently following the threads and trying to post since joining. I hadn't been around the last few days though due to my surgery. I am up and about, just doped most of the time. I will catch up hopefully this weekend. husband isn't letting me do much.
    We did start testing this week with FD1. We also did therapy this week and we are trying to see if she can focus on the positive things rather than the negative, and on talking when spoken to rather than just giving you a blank look. If she is thinking, she must look at us and tell us that she is thinking at the moment. At least this way, we know she isn't ignoring us. We are also trying to focus on NOT lying. She will look straight at you and bald faced lie to your face knowing that before the words are out of her mouth, it is a lie. Went to the school to pick her up yesterday and I had been telling her for 3 days to get her tardy notice from the 9th turned in and to turn in her yellow slip that is signed by teachers and myself. Was in the office and asked her when she walked up to me if she had turned these things in. Yep.. that was her answer. I told her to let me look at her notebook. Sure enough.. there sat those slips! I told her, you march yourself around the corner and turn this stuff in NOW! She has math still in her folder that she was supposed to turn in a WEEK ago! I am about ready to start taking her paperwork that she doesn't turn in and she will just get an F on it and have to suffer! It is like she has to be led around like a baby all the time and told what to do! I put a sticky in her agenda book one day telling her to turn this and that in. She took it out, stuck it on a piece of paper and just stuck it in her notebook, and then didn't do a darned thing she was instructed to do (DEFIANCE??). So, I told her, now it gets written in your agenda IN PEN! I checked her math the one day and she got half wrong.. so I marked them in pencil and told her, do NOT erase the mark so that I know which one's I need to go back and check again. She erased them! Went through them again and marked the one's that she still had wrong, again... and once again told her.. leave the marks!!! She went and erased them! I told her, you erase them one more time and I will mark them in PEN so that they cannot be erased! Just things like this and then she gets mad at me, but she fails to realize that she is the one failing to follow directions! Hopefully, this testing will help us to determine what is wrong with her and why she is like this. Whether she truly has something wrong with her, or if it is just a product of growing up in a household with a mother who didn't care enough to make her do ANYTHING at all or to follow up on anything this child did. She was a preemie, and she is very immature for her 14 yrs old. She does have socially unacceptable tendencies. She talks to strangers more than she does to Us...or even to her sister! She will talk a strangers head off.
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hmmm. From your description she definitely needs testing.
    That would drive me crazy, too. I am so glad my difficult child was tested (so many times!) because I react very differently to him now. (Okay, not 100% but 90% :) )
    I hope you heal quickly!
  3. Alttlgabby

    Alttlgabby New Member

    Thanks Terry. Yeah, I am glad we are having her tested. She definately needs it. Her mother never cared enough to do it in the past. Allowed the schools to keep up on everything for her. As long as it didn't interfere with her time to go out drugging and drinking, she simply didn't care. I just don't understand how a mother could be like that.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope the testing leads to some answers. Usually the diagnosis is the starting point. You can begin to treat and minister to her needs. She's getting older fast - making sure that you and the school are on the same page is going to be a great thing for her. She may needs some of her organizational tasks handled by the teacher or some therapy that helps her understand how to deal with individual issues, etc.

    Keep us posted. Glad you are recovering.

  5. ML

    ML Guest

    I don't think we've officially "met". Welcome!

    It sounds like your daughter has been through a lot. On top of the organizational challenges which seem to be common in many of our difficult children, she's had to deal with a lot trauma and inconsistency. It may take her a while to adjust. How long has she been with you? Any way my prayers and good thoughts are with you. Hugs, ML