Hi SB, I haven't been on here lately bc I'm dealing with difficult child's worst situation yet (just when you think things are looking up, right?) but wanted to chime in about the holiday stress.
I think we all feel it to some degree, if we have a difficult child. You hold your breath for no meltdowns. You don't want certain relatives to know certain things about difficult child. You feel the need to protect elderly relatives from knowing what difficult child has pulled now-it would crush them, break their hearts, and possibly cause their demise. Although you're glad for the get together, there is a great deal of pretense and downright deception. At least, this is how I'm feeling anyway.
So you're not alone dreading the holidays. Hope it goes better than expected for us all.