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having a hard time this past week
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 430722" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>When this was our situation, I would awaken from nightmarish dreams worried sick about our son. Or, I wouldn't be able to sleep, at all. I found repeating The Serenity Prayer helpful. As Suz told me when she suggested I use this technique, I read it over and over again until it worked.</p><p></p><p>And it did work.</p><p></p><p>I still use it sometimes.</p><p></p><p>Other things that helped me were to set a place at the table for my son during Holiday gatherings with family. It was so painful not to know where he was or whether he had food or warm clothing. If we were hosting a large gathering, I set our son's place in our bedroom, where no one else would see it. It sounds so crazy, but it gave me comfort to do that. There were times when I would buy him cards, though I didn't have an address to send them to. I realize now that those cards, and those holiday placesettings, were a focus for the grief I felt. Once I had that focus, I could limit the feelings a little, and function in the world. </p><p></p><p>Probably no one who hasn't been through this would understand how those things could give comfort.</p><p></p><p>They got me through it, though.</p><p></p><p>Another thing I would do is light candles for him. White ones. At Christmas, I got those electric candles you put in the window? To this day, I think of my son when I put them out.</p><p></p><p>Here is the Serenity Prayer. It worked, for me.</p><p></p><p>God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change</p><p>the Courage to change the things I can</p><p>and the Wisdom to know the difference.</p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry this is happening to you and to your family.</p><p></p><p>Know that I wish you well.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 430722, member: 3353"] When this was our situation, I would awaken from nightmarish dreams worried sick about our son. Or, I wouldn't be able to sleep, at all. I found repeating The Serenity Prayer helpful. As Suz told me when she suggested I use this technique, I read it over and over again until it worked. And it did work. I still use it sometimes. Other things that helped me were to set a place at the table for my son during Holiday gatherings with family. It was so painful not to know where he was or whether he had food or warm clothing. If we were hosting a large gathering, I set our son's place in our bedroom, where no one else would see it. It sounds so crazy, but it gave me comfort to do that. There were times when I would buy him cards, though I didn't have an address to send them to. I realize now that those cards, and those holiday placesettings, were a focus for the grief I felt. Once I had that focus, I could limit the feelings a little, and function in the world. Probably no one who hasn't been through this would understand how those things could give comfort. They got me through it, though. Another thing I would do is light candles for him. White ones. At Christmas, I got those electric candles you put in the window? To this day, I think of my son when I put them out. Here is the Serenity Prayer. It worked, for me. God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. I'm so sorry this is happening to you and to your family. Know that I wish you well. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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having a hard time this past week
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