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Having a harder time with this transistion
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<blockquote data-quote="Mom2oddson" data-source="post: 395614" data-attributes="member: 65"><p>I wish there was an instruction book on how to shift from being a parent of a child to being a parent of an adult. I think we all just muddle our way through the best we can. </p><p></p><p>Both of my difficult children have done the leave home to couch surf at 16. It's very hard. With difficult child-Ant, I had to be very careful. His ODD was so over the top if I said anything that he could take negatively, he'd have nothing to do with us for months. So on those time that he did come over, I was usually working in the kitchen (dishes, making cookies, something) so that while he talked about whatever, I could smile and be the bobble-head. It was very hard. And after the visit, I'd go see my therapist so that she could help me through it. </p><p></p><p>As for difficult child-Step, she is so far gone that I don't know if she will ever come back. On the only visit home that she had this year, she was so rude and hurtful. She made fun of the dogs that she grew up with. She made rude comments about her brothers. She bragged about her freedom and how she is getting everything she wants (she's living with an enabling grandma) and then she said some very hurtful things to and about husband. We didn't get pulled into any of the garbage. We acted like were hearing the most wonderful news. Then when she left because she wasn't getting the responses that she wanted, husband & I dealt with the garbage that was dumped on us. </p><p></p><p>I don't know what to tell you to help you deal with your daughter. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in this. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, and be glad that your daughter is going to be with you. Get your rhino-skin on along with your Warrior Mom Armor so that you can focus on the beautiful parts of the day and not the other stuff. {{{{hugs}}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mom2oddson, post: 395614, member: 65"] I wish there was an instruction book on how to shift from being a parent of a child to being a parent of an adult. I think we all just muddle our way through the best we can. Both of my difficult children have done the leave home to couch surf at 16. It's very hard. With difficult child-Ant, I had to be very careful. His ODD was so over the top if I said anything that he could take negatively, he'd have nothing to do with us for months. So on those time that he did come over, I was usually working in the kitchen (dishes, making cookies, something) so that while he talked about whatever, I could smile and be the bobble-head. It was very hard. And after the visit, I'd go see my therapist so that she could help me through it. As for difficult child-Step, she is so far gone that I don't know if she will ever come back. On the only visit home that she had this year, she was so rude and hurtful. She made fun of the dogs that she grew up with. She made rude comments about her brothers. She bragged about her freedom and how she is getting everything she wants (she's living with an enabling grandma) and then she said some very hurtful things to and about husband. We didn't get pulled into any of the garbage. We acted like were hearing the most wonderful news. Then when she left because she wasn't getting the responses that she wanted, husband & I dealt with the garbage that was dumped on us. I don't know what to tell you to help you deal with your daughter. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in this. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, and be glad that your daughter is going to be with you. Get your rhino-skin on along with your Warrior Mom Armor so that you can focus on the beautiful parts of the day and not the other stuff. {{{{hugs}}}} [/QUOTE]
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