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Having a harder time with this transistion
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 395746"><p>I think you are doing great. You are setting limits and boundaries, you are supporting her to do the best thing for herself. You are letting it be her decision. I can totally see why you want to let her stay Christmas Eve and Christmas night at your house and I would probably do the same.... although that will add more stress to your holiday. i really hope that before she stays you have the place on board and that she can go the 26th. My only worry for you is that she will get revived by the holiday and then not want to go. I think a lot of people going into rehab really minimize their drug use.... maybe she is not using now but the real question is why? Is not using because she is choosing to stay sober, or is she not using because she hasn't had any money to buy drugs? I would be like you and be veru suspicious of drug use. My experience says when your gut is telling you it is drugs, it probably is.</p><p></p><p>And I agree the transition from parenting a child to an adult is difficult. I personally don't think it will be hard with my easy child. She is 15 and as she is growing up she gets more freedom and responsibility. The thing is she tells me and takes those steps herself so it is easy for me to let go and follow along. My difficult child did not do that... he fought hard for his independence but made such stupid bad decisions that my gut instinct to protect him always kicked in. And the need to control him for his OWN sake and safety. I don't have that need with my easy child because she generally makes good decisions and doesn't do the things he did.</p><p></p><p>So now we are at the point where I think if he was living at home it would be really hard for me to treat him as an adult, unless he was really acting like one. Oh that may be the key, I can treat them like an adult if they act like one. LOL. If they don't then it is really hard to let go. So anyway I can let go of a lot if he isn't living at home or depending on us.... hopefully he is on the road through rehab to be really independent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 395746"] I think you are doing great. You are setting limits and boundaries, you are supporting her to do the best thing for herself. You are letting it be her decision. I can totally see why you want to let her stay Christmas Eve and Christmas night at your house and I would probably do the same.... although that will add more stress to your holiday. i really hope that before she stays you have the place on board and that she can go the 26th. My only worry for you is that she will get revived by the holiday and then not want to go. I think a lot of people going into rehab really minimize their drug use.... maybe she is not using now but the real question is why? Is not using because she is choosing to stay sober, or is she not using because she hasn't had any money to buy drugs? I would be like you and be veru suspicious of drug use. My experience says when your gut is telling you it is drugs, it probably is. And I agree the transition from parenting a child to an adult is difficult. I personally don't think it will be hard with my easy child. She is 15 and as she is growing up she gets more freedom and responsibility. The thing is she tells me and takes those steps herself so it is easy for me to let go and follow along. My difficult child did not do that... he fought hard for his independence but made such stupid bad decisions that my gut instinct to protect him always kicked in. And the need to control him for his OWN sake and safety. I don't have that need with my easy child because she generally makes good decisions and doesn't do the things he did. So now we are at the point where I think if he was living at home it would be really hard for me to treat him as an adult, unless he was really acting like one. Oh that may be the key, I can treat them like an adult if they act like one. LOL. If they don't then it is really hard to let go. So anyway I can let go of a lot if he isn't living at home or depending on us.... hopefully he is on the road through rehab to be really independent. [/QUOTE]
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