Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
He at least apologized.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 388653" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Like Step, he doesn't refuse to do anything.</p><p> </p><p>He <em>was</em> going to change the oil in the car. I waited 11 months. For both cars, actually. Something tells me that's plenty of time.</p><p> </p><p>And generally when I ask him to help, its so I can (theoretically) get more done. A common one will be to pick up the living room. He likes to pick up the free classified ad papers, and there are lots of them in this area. He will sit in his chair and watch tv and circle and cut out ads for **** he never buys or calls about. And when he's done, he drops it on the floor beside the chair. Plates and glasses (cause he generally eats in the chair) on the end table. Kicks off his socks in that chair, and late at night, his jeans. So all that stuff will be there. So I will want to run the dishwasher, and I'll ask for the dishes<em><strong>. </strong></em>IF he does it, it will be at midnight, before he goes to bed, when he's finally done watching <em>this </em>show. Or maybe its so I can sweep the living room. Same deal. Another is asking him to take stuff he's dragged into the house from the shop back to the shop. I make a pile by the door. Again, if I'm there to sweep the floor, etc, I either move the pile or find something else to do. </p><p> </p><p>There's never a shortage of alternative tasks, but nearly every where I turn, I have to deal with his stuff in order to clean (also, he considers cleaning to be picking up his stuff. I consider cleaning to be sweeping, mopping, dusting, etc. Which comes AFTER you pick up all the stuff.) </p><p> </p><p>As for the cell phones, that's the way he is. He has some hoarding traits, himself, and no ability to organize anything. He has titles to vehicles in popcorn tins in the shop. And, he will <em>loan </em>me anything. But the moment I am finished with it, he epxects it back exactly where it came from. The reason I went on the hunt for the cell phone to begin with was because I had numbers on it I needed to get off, and I had thought about keeping it on my nightstand so I wouldn't forget to do it. I also apparently thought that was a bad idea because it was back in the drawer where it belongs.</p><p> </p><p>But you see the double standard here? I have to put back anything that belongs to him. I have to ask to borrow what belongs to him or his parents. My stuff is a free for all - like the truck...he wasn't going to borrow a vehicle when <strong><em>WE </em></strong>had a perfectly good one in the drive. I said he couldn't take it, he did anyway. But he can take the battery charger that I got for Christmas 2 years ago an take it to his parents' shop and use it there, and not bring it home, and lock the doors (to which I'm not allowed a key). The boys have to put back everything, etc, immediately when finished. (ok, there's nothing wrong with this....dont' get me wrong). We don't have any log chains and booms at our house anymore. In fact, easy child 1 and I finally bought a set and easy child 1 keeps them locked in his toolbox in his truck. Which makes husband BEYOND mad that he can't get to them, even tho husband is the one who dragged our log chains and booms to his folks' place and didn't bring them back. There is a cabinet in our shop that he put a lock on, and he locks some tools in there - not always his, either. His justification is so he'll know where these things are when he neede thems. He found a small socket set of mine last year that I keep in the house, and he had one like it. Both were missing pieces. He took my set, made one complete one, and dumped the rest in a drawer in the shop. I don't know where the "complete" set is. I found my dremel set dumped on the counter in the shop, half the pieces lost, but easy child 1 and I are the ones who lose everything.</p><p> </p><p>If he comes home and we've been working on a car and we have power tools out that originally came from him, or the lawnmower out, and haven't put it away yet (more than once we've stopped to eat when he comes home) he will put <em>his</em> things away. In the case of the lawnmower, he has even unhooked a trailer where it sat (we were hauling mulch to the garden), full, and put the mower away but left the trailer (which was mine) out. Even tho, if he is using something that originally came from me, he may or may not put ANY of it away.</p><p> </p><p>I am not perfect. I forget things. I don't put things away 100% of the time. And I'm lenient with others, so long as they admit they screw up, too, and don't hold everyone else to a higher standard. I have never experienced such a division between families, let alone, spouses. </p><p> </p><p>And he loves to use "dumb" as his excuse. Then, of course, the rich comment the other night. Which makes NO sense. If I'm the spoiled rich brat, then why am <em>I </em>the one that insists on closing the storm windows when the heat or ac is on? Or hanging out laundry on the line to save $100 on the electric bill. Or maintaining 15 year old vehicles properly so they'll live longer, instead of having to buy new ones? If I'm so rich and spoiled, why am <em>I</em> the one worried about <em>that</em>?</p><p> </p><p>Sorry, HaoZi. I completely missed the humor. Scarey part is, I'm getting to where I'm not angry any more.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 388653, member: 1848"] Like Step, he doesn't refuse to do anything. He [I]was[/I] going to change the oil in the car. I waited 11 months. For both cars, actually. Something tells me that's plenty of time. And generally when I ask him to help, its so I can (theoretically) get more done. A common one will be to pick up the living room. He likes to pick up the free classified ad papers, and there are lots of them in this area. He will sit in his chair and watch tv and circle and cut out ads for **** he never buys or calls about. And when he's done, he drops it on the floor beside the chair. Plates and glasses (cause he generally eats in the chair) on the end table. Kicks off his socks in that chair, and late at night, his jeans. So all that stuff will be there. So I will want to run the dishwasher, and I'll ask for the dishes[I][B]. [/B][/I]IF he does it, it will be at midnight, before he goes to bed, when he's finally done watching [I]this [/I]show. Or maybe its so I can sweep the living room. Same deal. Another is asking him to take stuff he's dragged into the house from the shop back to the shop. I make a pile by the door. Again, if I'm there to sweep the floor, etc, I either move the pile or find something else to do. There's never a shortage of alternative tasks, but nearly every where I turn, I have to deal with his stuff in order to clean (also, he considers cleaning to be picking up his stuff. I consider cleaning to be sweeping, mopping, dusting, etc. Which comes AFTER you pick up all the stuff.) As for the cell phones, that's the way he is. He has some hoarding traits, himself, and no ability to organize anything. He has titles to vehicles in popcorn tins in the shop. And, he will [I]loan [/I]me anything. But the moment I am finished with it, he epxects it back exactly where it came from. The reason I went on the hunt for the cell phone to begin with was because I had numbers on it I needed to get off, and I had thought about keeping it on my nightstand so I wouldn't forget to do it. I also apparently thought that was a bad idea because it was back in the drawer where it belongs. But you see the double standard here? I have to put back anything that belongs to him. I have to ask to borrow what belongs to him or his parents. My stuff is a free for all - like the truck...he wasn't going to borrow a vehicle when [B][I]WE [/I][/B]had a perfectly good one in the drive. I said he couldn't take it, he did anyway. But he can take the battery charger that I got for Christmas 2 years ago an take it to his parents' shop and use it there, and not bring it home, and lock the doors (to which I'm not allowed a key). The boys have to put back everything, etc, immediately when finished. (ok, there's nothing wrong with this....dont' get me wrong). We don't have any log chains and booms at our house anymore. In fact, easy child 1 and I finally bought a set and easy child 1 keeps them locked in his toolbox in his truck. Which makes husband BEYOND mad that he can't get to them, even tho husband is the one who dragged our log chains and booms to his folks' place and didn't bring them back. There is a cabinet in our shop that he put a lock on, and he locks some tools in there - not always his, either. His justification is so he'll know where these things are when he neede thems. He found a small socket set of mine last year that I keep in the house, and he had one like it. Both were missing pieces. He took my set, made one complete one, and dumped the rest in a drawer in the shop. I don't know where the "complete" set is. I found my dremel set dumped on the counter in the shop, half the pieces lost, but easy child 1 and I are the ones who lose everything. If he comes home and we've been working on a car and we have power tools out that originally came from him, or the lawnmower out, and haven't put it away yet (more than once we've stopped to eat when he comes home) he will put [I]his[/I] things away. In the case of the lawnmower, he has even unhooked a trailer where it sat (we were hauling mulch to the garden), full, and put the mower away but left the trailer (which was mine) out. Even tho, if he is using something that originally came from me, he may or may not put ANY of it away. I am not perfect. I forget things. I don't put things away 100% of the time. And I'm lenient with others, so long as they admit they screw up, too, and don't hold everyone else to a higher standard. I have never experienced such a division between families, let alone, spouses. And he loves to use "dumb" as his excuse. Then, of course, the rich comment the other night. Which makes NO sense. If I'm the spoiled rich brat, then why am [I]I [/I]the one that insists on closing the storm windows when the heat or ac is on? Or hanging out laundry on the line to save $100 on the electric bill. Or maintaining 15 year old vehicles properly so they'll live longer, instead of having to buy new ones? If I'm so rich and spoiled, why am [I]I[/I] the one worried about [I]that[/I]? Sorry, HaoZi. I completely missed the humor. Scarey part is, I'm getting to where I'm not angry any more. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
He at least apologized.
Top