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He called husband
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 420323"><p>Good idea Star. We have been going to agreat alanon parents meetingi and are hearing other parents who have been through this over and over. I think that is helping... funny thing is though my husband is going more to support ME than for himself. He is able to compartamentalize things in a way that I can't.... so he doesn't let stuff affect him as much. He is right about that. But he doesn't face the enabling piece as well. Last night he told me he is hoping the girlfriend will help motivate our son to stay clean!!! i was like, that is the problem, you think she can do that. None of us can do that. He needs to decide this is what he wants for himself. She can't do it for him. I think he kind of gets that but has this still unrealistic hope.... my hope is that my son is deciding for himself he really wants to do things differently this time and will use the supports that are out there. Anyway the good thing is my husband is willing to talk with me about it and I don't think he will give our difficult child any money. My daughter who is almost 16 also has strong feelings about all of this and was letting her father know her feelings in no uncertain terms. So we are on the same page, but maybe in a different paragraph.</p><p></p><p>And like you said he is talking to the PO, is keeping in touch with a family member, is talking about getting a job and going to community college. So there are good signs.... I am just not getting my hopes up that he will follow through but a part of me is really hoping he will surprise me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 420323"] Good idea Star. We have been going to agreat alanon parents meetingi and are hearing other parents who have been through this over and over. I think that is helping... funny thing is though my husband is going more to support ME than for himself. He is able to compartamentalize things in a way that I can't.... so he doesn't let stuff affect him as much. He is right about that. But he doesn't face the enabling piece as well. Last night he told me he is hoping the girlfriend will help motivate our son to stay clean!!! i was like, that is the problem, you think she can do that. None of us can do that. He needs to decide this is what he wants for himself. She can't do it for him. I think he kind of gets that but has this still unrealistic hope.... my hope is that my son is deciding for himself he really wants to do things differently this time and will use the supports that are out there. Anyway the good thing is my husband is willing to talk with me about it and I don't think he will give our difficult child any money. My daughter who is almost 16 also has strong feelings about all of this and was letting her father know her feelings in no uncertain terms. So we are on the same page, but maybe in a different paragraph. And like you said he is talking to the PO, is keeping in touch with a family member, is talking about getting a job and going to community college. So there are good signs.... I am just not getting my hopes up that he will follow through but a part of me is really hoping he will surprise me. [/QUOTE]
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